The Misadventures of the Laundry Hag 00 - Skeletons in the Closet

Marty; you can even sleep in my bed!” Kenny was eager to sacrifice his own comfort for more time with Uncle Excitement. My brother may be a complete baboon’s behind when it came to a career, but he’s the fun relation.
    Of course, the competition is pretty thin.
    The boys were getting Marty all squared away, and I turned on Neil with a vengeance.
    “Would it kill you to be decent to him? Or, Heaven forbid, nice ?”
    “It might.” Neil’s gaze traveled down the hallway. “It’s hard to believe he beat out a million other sperm.”
    “ Neil! ”
    “Uncle Scrooge, I tolerate him because he’s your brother. But the navy has a term for his life. Malingering. It’s a punishable state of being.”
    “Well he’s not in the military, and while he may be lazy some of the time—”
    Neil whirled on me. “ All of the time. And I don’t want to hear anything from that cache of excuses you keep at the ready for his defense. You did the best you could with what you were given, and he’s an adult. He’s responsible for his own pile of crap and he has been for the last decade.”
    My lip trembled, and Neil softened in his attack. “I’ll try harder. For you. But if he calls me brother-man one more freaking time, I’ll….”
    I put my fingertips over his mouth. “Duly noted. And I appreciate it.”
    Neil slung an arm around my shoulders and steered me to the front porch.
    “While we have a moment of peace, I want to hear about this morning.”
    The words came pouring out of me like air from a deflating balloon, and I felt just as empty when I finished.
    Neil shook his head. “No, that detective is playing games with you, Uncle Scrooge. He’s using your fear to manipulate you.”
    “Maybe. I was thinking I’d ask Francesca to hire me and recommend me to some of her and Alessandra’s acquaintances, you know, to get my foot in the door?”
    “Less than a week ago you were ranting like a loon about how you didn’t want one cleaning job, and now you want to pick up more?”
    “Things change.” I wasn’t exactly thrilled by that fact, but I had been scheming all day, and denial wasn’t going to help any of us. “I’ll hire someone to go with me; you know, an assistant or partner, so I’ll never be alone in a potential murderer’s company.
    “I should have killed that detective when I had the chance,” Neil muttered.
    “You have to admit he has a point. I’ll have access to the Kline’s social circle, and most people don’t look twice at the help.”
    “Maggie, five minutes with you, and anyone can see you’re no help.”
    “The insults aren’t helping,” I said as quietly as possible. I was trying not to antagonize Neil.
    “Okay, here’s what we’ll do. I’ll be your partner.”
    I laughed in his face; I couldn’t help it. It wasn’t very often that Neil was the one to come up with the ridiculous suggestions.
    “What?” Neil put his hands on his hips, which only enhanced my giggle fit.
    “You have a job, remember?” I said between gasps for breath.
    “Yeah, but I can take some time off or rearrange my schedule or something.”
    “Neil, you put in your time saving the world. I know you want to keep me out of harm’s way, but it seems that fate has other plans. I’m no warrior, but I can help, and it’s better than sitting around here worrying about whether or not our sons are in some maniac’s crosshairs.”
    We sat in silence for a time, staring up at the moonless night, and I caught the faint hint of chimney smoke. The moment was utterly serene, and I knew it wouldn’t last.
    Neil finally asked, “Who did you have in mind to ride shotgun?”
    “I wasn’t thinking of anyone in particular,” I admitted.
    “How about I make a few calls tomorrow, see what the network can come up with?”
    The network is Neil’s list of contacts, some SEALs, both former and active duty, as well as a handful of other people he trusts. It operates on the whole six degrees of separation theory, you know, ‘I know someone who knows someone who can do….’ fill in the blank. Neil and a few of his buddies started the network before we’d met, and it’s grown to almost global proportions.
    “Please, find someone discreet, not like the thugs who helped us move in.”
    Neil grinned. “You didn’t like Little John and Tiny Tim?”
    “Like has nothing to do with it. One of them did number two in our bathroom, and an hour later my air fern was all withered.”
    “You shouldn’t have