The Redemption of Callie & Kayden

up from. Because right now, it’s better than being in the light.

Chapter 1
    #62 Don’t break apart
Callie
    I spend a lot of time writing in my notebook. It’s like therapy for me almost. It’s extremely late in the night and I’m wide awake, dreading going back to campus tomorrow morning and leaving Kayden behind. How am I supposed to just leave him, bail out, move on? Everyone keeps telling me that I have to, like it’s as simple as picking out an outfit. I was never good at picking out outfits, though.
    I’m in the room above the garage, alone, tucked away in the solitude with only my pen and notebook for company. I sigh as I stare at the moon and then let my hand move across the paper almost on its own accord.
    I can’t get the image out of my mind, no matter how hard I try. Every time I close my eyes, I see Kayden, lying on the floor. Blood covers his body, the floor, the cracks in the tile, and the knives that surround him. He’s broken, bleeding, cracked to pieces. To some people he probably seems like he can’t be repaired. But I can’t think that.
    I was once shattered to pieces, destroyed by the hand of another, but now I feel like I’m beginning to reconnect. Or at least I did feel that way. But when I found Kayden on the floor it felt like part of me splintered again. And more of me broke when his mother told me he did it to himself. He cut himself and has probably been doing it for years.
    I don’t believe it.
    I can’t believe it. Not when I know about his dad.
    I just can’t.
    My hand stops and I wait for more to come. But that’s all I seem to need to write. I lie down in the bed and stare at the moon, wondering how I’m supposed to move forward in life when everything important to me is motionless.
    * * *
    “Wipe that sad frown off your face, Missy.” Seth is holding my arm as we walk across the campus yard. It’s cold. Rain is drizzling from the gloomy clouds and the sidewalks are covered in murky puddles. There’s practically a river running off the rooftops of the historic buildings that enclose the campus. The grass is sloshy beneath my sneakers and the icky weather matches my mood. People are running to and from class and I just want to yell,
Slow down and wait for the world to catch up!
    “I’m trying,” I tell him, but my frown still remains. It’s the same frown that’s been on my face since I found Kayden a little over a couple of weeks ago. The images hurt my mind and my heart like shards of glass. I know part of this is my fault. I’m the one who let Kayden find out about Caleb. I barely even tried to deny it when he’d asked me. Part of me had wanted him to find out and part of me was glad when Luke had told me Kayden had beat up Caleb.
    He nudges me with his elbow and constricts his grip when I trip over my feet and stumble to the side. “Callie, you need to stop worrying all the time.” He helps me get my balance. “I know it’s hard, but always being sad isn’t a good thing. I don’t want you going back to the sad girl I first met.”
    I stop in my tracks and step right into a puddle. The cold water fills my shoes and soaks through my socks. “Seth, I’m not going back to that.” I slip my arm out of his and wrap my jacket tightly around myself. “I just can’t stop thinking about him… how he looked. It’s stuck in my head.” It’s always in my mind. I didn’t want to leave Afton, but my mom threatened me, saying if I failed the semester she wasn’t going to let me stay at the house for Christmas break. I’d have nowhere to go. “I just miss him and I feel bad for leaving him there with his family.”
    “It wouldn’t have matter if you had stayed. They still won’t let you see him.” Seth brushes his golden blond hair out of his honey brown eyes and looks at me sympathetically as rain drips down on his head and face. “Callie, I know it’s hard, especially when they said he did it to… when he did it to himself. But you can’t break apart.”
    “I’m not breaking apart.” The drizzle of rain suddenly shifts to a downpour and we sprint for the shelter of the trees, shielding our faces with our arms. I tuck damp strands of my brown hair out of my face and behind my ears. “I just can’t stop thinking about him.” I sigh, wiping away the rain from my face. “Besides, I don’t believe that he did it to himself.”
    His shoulders slump as he pulls down the sleeves of his black button-down jacket. “Callie, I hate to say it