The Republic of Wine

voice is as good as the great Qiu Shengxu!’
    ‘Let’s hear some, Deputy Head Jin,’ Mo Yan proposes.
    ‘If you don’t mind my making a fool of myself,’ Deputy Head Jin says.
    He gets to his feet, clears his throat, and, in a thunderous voice with a series of crescendos and diminuendos, sings a long aria without turning red in the face or gasping for air. When it is over, he clasps his hands and announces, ‘Please don’t laugh!’
    Mo Yan shouts his appreciation.
    ‘May I be permitted a question, Mo Yan, Sir?’ Deputy Head Jin asks. ‘What’s the reason for pissing into the liquor vat?’
    His face reddening, Mo Yan replies, ‘The rantings of a novelist. Don’t take them seriously.’
    Deputy Head Jin says, I’ll drink three glasses if Mo Yan will sing a bit of “Little Sister Strides Boldly Forward.”‘
    'I'm not much of a drinker,’ Mo Yan demurs, ‘and a very bad singer.’
    ‘A son of Han, a man among men, never drinks without a song. Come come come, I’ll drink first.’
    Deputy Head Jin lines up three glasses and fills them. Then he bends his head down and takes a deep breath; when he raises his head, he is holding all three glasses in his mouth. He tips his head back until the glasses are bottoms up, then lowers his head once more, placing the glasses exactly where they were.
    ‘Bravo!’ one of the guests shouts. ‘Plum Blossoms Playing Thrice!’
    ‘Mo Yan, Sir, that’s Deputy Head Jin’s piece de resistance? Li Yidou explains.
    ‘It’s superb!’ Mo Yan says.
    ‘Your turn, Mo Yan, Sir,’ Deputy Head Jin says.
    Three glasses are lined up in front of Mo Yan and filled to the brim.
    ‘Don’t expect any Plum Blossoms Playing Thrice from me,’ Mo Yan says.
    ‘One glass at a time, that’s all we ask,’ Deputy Head Jin says generously. ‘We’re not out to embarrass you.’
    With three more glasses down the hatch, Mo Yan’s head is really spinning.
    The other guests are urging him to sing.
    Mo Yan realizes that his mouth will no longer do his bidding, now that his lips and tongue are out of sync.
    ‘Writer Mo Yan,’ Deputy Head Jin says, ‘if you’ll sing something, anything, I’ll drink the “submarine” for you.’
    So Mo Yan sings for them, a ghastly sound, as it turns out.
    Still everyone shouts his approval.
    ‘All right,' Deputy Head Jin says, ‘now l’ll drink the “submarine.”'
    He pours a glass of beer, then a glass of hard liquor, which he lets sink in the taller glass. Picking up the beer glass, he tips his head back and drinks them both together, every last drop.
    Just then a woman enters the dining room, laughing loudly -Ha ha. ‘Where’s the writer?’ she asks loudly. I’d like to toast him with three glasses.’
    Li Yidou leans over to Mo Yan. ‘Mayor Wang,’ he whispers. ‘No one holds her liquor like she does.’
    Mo Yan gazes at the Mayor as she approaches: large, square face, fair and delicate, bedroom eyes, moist as an autumn shower, elegantly dressed, looking like a stately woman of ancient times.
    Intending to stand up, instead he slides indecorously under the table.
    V
    … Mo Yan Sir Mo Yan Sir what’s wrong please wake up This guy wrote Red Sorghum but he’s a fledgling with alcohol can’t hold his liquor but comes to Liquorland to stir up trouble take him to the hospital bring a car over first give him some carp broth to sober him up carp promotes lactation don’t tell me he just had a baby a meat boy set it in a big gilded platter with nice leafy celery and big mouth-watering cherries from the US golden juices nice and sticky like honey that doesn’t drip get on the phone and have the municipal hospital send an ambulance if something happens to him we’ll be in hot water the ambulance lights red as blood like the eyes of a wolf are getting closer this is a big case an important case an unsettled case lawyers and journalists will stand shoulder to shoulder Ding Gou’er Ding Gou’er you disappointing son of a bitch A shortage of grain beat back the Rightist Reversal Movement oppose Bourgeois Liberalization lots and lots of three-legged red-backed frogs showing up in ponds the first human sperm bank Kurosawa’s new movie Akira Kurosawa’s Dreams peach blossoms everywhere demonic ghosts howling Mount Fuji on fire thawing melting dripping like a piece of meat taken out of the fridge and exposed to the sun the flavor of the nineties absolutely delicious sonic waves beeping in an oven I asked Third Uncle Where’s Third