The Reunion

lights and the TV, covered her up with a blanket, went into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water. There were two empty wine bottles on the counter. He went back into the living room and sat down at the little table. Lilah was lying on her side, one arm flung out, delicate fingers almost touching the floor. Even passed out drunk and dishevelled, she was beautiful, long lashes resting on fine cheekbones, honey-blonde hair all over the place.
    Beauty wasn’t enough. He was no longer in love with her, he hadn’t been for a while now. She made him sad and anxious. Still, he couldn’t leave her. She threatened to walk out on him all the time, she might even do it one day. He looked forward to that day and he dreaded it. He knew that if they stayed together, they would end up despising each other and that was the last thing he wanted. But he worried what would happen to her when he was no longer there to calm her down, take her home, to pick up the pieces. He worried what she would do when she was free, free to leave any bar with any man she chose. Andrew worried that Lilah wouldn’t choose well.
    But as well as this, he worried that the end of Andrew and Lilah would be the beginning of the end for their little band of friends. When you’re at university, you think it’s going to last forever, it is inconceivable that there will come a day when you don’t see each other all the time, talk to each other every day. But less than a year after graduation, Andrew could see how easily they could drift apart. Already, it felt like Dan was going his own way; they rarely saw him these days, he never seemed to want to come and visit. And if he and Lilah split he wouldn’t see Nat any longer. If she had to pick a side, she’d pick Lilah’s. And then, bit by bit, Nat would drift out of his life, and that scared him more than anything.
    On the sofa, Lilah stirred.
    ‘Drew?’ she croaked.
    ‘Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you.’
    ‘No, you didn’t.’ She looked up at him and smiled. Her teeth were stained a deep red from the wine, she looked as though she had blood in her mouth. ‘You didn’t wake me. Come here,’ she said, stretching out her arms to him. ‘Come and lie with me.’
    ‘Let’s go to bed,’ he said, getting to his feet.
    ‘I can’t move,’ she moaned. ‘Carry me?’ He picked her up and she wrapped her arms around his neck. He could smell cigarettes on her breath and in her hair. He carried her into the bedroom, placing her down on the bed. She pulled the duvet over herself without taking off her clothes.
    ‘You love me, Drew?’ she asked him.
    ‘I love you, Lilah.’

Chapter Thirty-six

    LILAH THREW UP on the way to work. She actually had to get off the tube at Angel to vomit on the platform. It was humiliating, people were walking around her, staring, faces contorted in disgust. Some people laughed. A nice middle-aged lady in a black suit crouched down next to her, put her hand on her back and asked, ‘Are you OK, love? Are you pregnant?’ and Lilah thought, yes, that’s it, that’s a good excuse. That’s less embarrassing than puking in public because you only stopped drinking four hours ago.
    ‘I think I am,’ she said, accepting the proffered Kleenex.
    ‘You poor thing. You ought to go straight home and lie down. Morning sickness is just awful.’
    Lilah nodded and smiled bravely. ‘Oh, I couldn’t do that. I’ve got an important meeting this morning,’ she said.
    ‘Your boss is a bloke, right?’ the woman asked and when Lilah nodded she tutted sympathetically. ‘You’ll get no understanding from him then.’
    She couldn’t bear to get back on the train so she took a taxi the rest of the way to work, which meant she arrived twenty-five minutes late and twelve pounds poorer and she was already pretty much up against her overdraft limit. Everything was such a mess, such a bloody mess, she just couldn’t seem to get her head straight.
    She flung her bag down at her desk, tossed her coat over the back of her chair, straightened out her skirt, checked her breath one last time (she’d had four sticks of chewing gum) and ran as quickly as she could to the conference room. Everyone looked up as she pushed the door open.
    ‘Nice of you to join us,’ the boss said.
    ‘Sorry, tube,’ she said, taking her seat, flashing him an apologetic smile. It wasn’t returned.
    ‘Yeah, we all take the tube, Lilah, and yet somehow we all manage to get here by nine.’
    You