The Rock Star Trilogy 01 - Jaded

Augh, the L word again.” He shakes his head, as if he can will the word to go away.
    “ Why are you so against love ?” I ask.
    “ I'm not against love . I just think that love is a serious word. I have never told a girl that I love her, and I want it to mean something. I want the one and only girl I say it to, to be my wife.”
    And right there, I lost my heart... to a boy named Stephan Montgomery.

    7:03 pm
    Chaos

    We pull into our destination shortly after seven. Stephan opens the door for me, which I still think is the sweetest thing in the world, and we hold hands as we walk inside.
    “ So, what is this place?” I ask.
    As soon as the door swings open, I can smell seafood.
    “ My dad used to take me here all the time. The food is amazing ,” he answers.
    The place is crowded, but we don't have to wait for a table... I assumed it was because of me. A few people were mad that we got ahead of them, which I feel bad about, but not for long.
    We sit outside on the patio. Even though the sun is starting to set, it's still fairly warm outside, and we have an excellent view of the ocean.
    “ This is nice,” I say. “I can't believe I haven't eaten more seafood while living in Florida.”
    “ What's your favorite?” he asks.
    “ Snow crab.” My mouth waters just thinking about it.
    “ Me too,” he agrees. “So, I was wondering... What is life on tour like?”
    “ Thinking of becoming a musician?” I joke.
    He shrugs. “Just curious.”
    “ There is only one word that comes to mind, and that's chaos.” I say honestly. “I remember one week I had six performances, three TV interviews, and four radio interviews in seven different states. I didn't sleep much that week. I practically lived on Red Bull, and whatever food I could eat on the drive to and from wherever I was going.”
    “ Is it always like that?”
    I shake my head. “No, but it feels like that a lot. But, honestly, I miss it. It was a crazy life, but I wouldn't of had it any other way.”
    “ I know you haven't decided what you want for sure yet, but I think you should go back out there. You belong on stage. The spotlight follows you,” he says, pointing at the table next to us. A girl is taking a picture of me with her cell phone.
    “ I don't even notice anymore.” It's the truth. “After four years, I have learned to completely ignore it.”
    “ You know, Ethan Googled me a few days ago, and he found hundreds pictures of you and me together. He even found one of us kissing.”
    I laugh. “I stopped Googling myself long ago.”
    “ It's kind of crazy.”
    “ Crazy is fun sometimes.”
    I know that once I graduate high school, I will go back to making music. But, I also know it's going to be my music from now on. And I really think it's Stephan who has helped me see... It doesn't have to be one way or the other. I can be me, and still do what I love. I just have to fire my dad to do it.

    After dinner, we decide to take a romantic walk on the beach... Though Stephan is stubborn, and possibly the most sarcastic guy I have ever met, he has these amazing moments where he's so sweet and thoughtful. Like right now . He's holding my hand, as we walk. Neither of us are saying a word, but we don't have to. The moment is so serene, and if I had the power to stop time, I would at this exact moment because everything is perfect .
    “ Scarlett?” Stephan is the one to break the silence.
    “ Yeah.”
    “ I really like you,” he says. It's simple, but the words are exactly what I need to hear. I can't help but smile.
    “ I really like you, too.”
    “ I've also fantasized my whole life about having sex on the beach.” And just like that , Stephan is back.
    I playfully hit his arm. “I'm not taking the chance of getting caught. Couldn't you see the news tomorrow? Scarlett caught having sex on a public beach.”
    “ I was kidding, Scar.” His voice is very serious as he says it, and I know that he's telling the truth.
    “ Oh.” I paused. “So, I was wondering... What was your childhood like?”
    “ It was actually awesome. My dad was amazing. He always took me to baseball games, theme parks, and spoiled me rotten. He always made time for me. Mom was a lot different before he died as well. She was happier. We really had the perfect life.” He shakes his head sadly. “Looking back, I don't know how he did it. How could he hide his affair from both of us? Shouldn't there have been clues? But, there wasn't, Scar. He was so