The Rock Warrior's Way: Mental Training For Climbers

personal power.
    The second power sink is generated by the Ego and involves self-image. The Ego goes to great pains to maintain the fiction of a constant, unchangeable self. This is a manifestation of the Ego’s hunger for security. Just as the Ego likes to brag about its achievements, showing it is better than others and thus worthy of value and survival, it likes to cling to the past and create a complex, detailed identity out of past events. The warrior literature calls this element of the Ego, personal history . Identification with personal history creates this power sink.
    At face value, personal history seems benign, yet perhaps you can sense its power-sapping ability. Do you feel threatened by me calling your personal history a hindrance? If you do, then your Ego is raising one of its thousand heads.
    Personal history is comprised of your fond memories, great triumphs, and saddest days, all claimed by and attributed to an essentially unchanged you. These highlights add to the richness of our experience, but they come with excess baggage. Many elements of personal history are not landmark moments in our lives, but rather oft-repeated, self-limiting ways of being, frozen at some early stage of learning. These fossilized responses are the habitual you. The maintenance of a fixed self-image requires energy. We are constantly and sometimes strenuously reframing new experiences to fit our old concept of ourselves. This requires power that could be directed towards facing challenges in the present.

    Whitesides, North Carolina. Photo: Jeff Achey
    One simple example of excess baggage is my own climbing experiences on Whitesides Mountain in North Carolina. Early in my climbing career, I made several first ascents on what’s known as the Headwall of the 700-foot face of Whitesides. It was a very intimidating section of cliff, unclimbed before my first ascent, and locally was considered impossible. Doing first ascents on this unclimbed cliff made me feel important. My Ego filed away those experiences, identified with them, and looked for ways to inform the world that I was more “important” than others. “I’m important,” said my Ego, “because I’m a bold climber who did the first ascent of the Whitesides Headwall.” That’s my personal history. That personal history makes me feel special and separate from others. Separation, however, leads away from learning and understanding.
    So how does that personal history affect me when I climb in the present? If others are watching me climb, I tend to worry that I won’t live up to the bold image I’ve identified myself with. I end up shunting energy trying to maintain an image, when I should be using that energy for problem-solving on the climb. These positive and satisfying experiences in my past have become a power sink because I haven’t been able to release my Ego’s sense of personal history. Many climbers I know have similar difficulties. They feel nervous climbing in front of others. They can’t fall or people will “know” they aren’t as good as their reputation makes them out to be.
    A more general example of personal history could be poor footwork. Perhaps your past is full of experiences of popping off small holds, banging your knees, and making unnecessarily strenuous moves to avoid relying on your feet. This is how you see yourself; it’s part of your personal history. Whether you realize it or not, part of your sense of self comes from having poor footwork, and therefore, the Ego puts energy into maintaining that aspect of your self-image. Though the Ego may chastise you for it, it wants you to have poor footwork, giving itself an excuse for not climbing harder. The power sink of personal history binds you to your past in an endless, energy-sapping feedback loop.
    The warrior can’t tolerate such a waste of power. He is much too deliberate with his energy and attention. He doesn’t waste power on boosting his self-importance or maintaining a fixed self-image. In fact, he actively attacks the devices of the Ego in order to free attention for use in the challenges of the present. When he’s climbing, he channels all his attention toward problem-solving within the challenge.
    Power Leaks
    Power sinks drain personal power into mental activities such as bolstering the Ego and maintaining a fixed self-image. Another way to lose power is to fritter it away in ineffective mental habits, limiting self-talk, reactionary behavior, or hoping and