The Satanic Verses

excitement. Try it, you’ll like it.’ When she looked up, Allie saw Maurice Wilson’s ghost sitting atop a large copper beech-tree in his usual woollen attire – tam-o’-shanter, diamond-pattern Pringle jersey, plus-fours – looking uncomfortably overdressed in the heat. ‘I’ve no time for you now,’ she told him, and he shrugged.
I can wait
. Her feet were bad again. She set her jaw and marched on.
    Saladin Chamcha, concealed behind the very copper beech from which Maurice Wilson’s ghost was surveying Allie’s painful progress, observed Gibreel Farishta bursting out of the front door of the block of flats in which he’d been waiting impatiently for her return; observed him red-eyed and raving. The demons of jealousy were sitting on his shoulders, and he was screaming out the same old song, wherethehell whothe whatthe dontthinkyoucanpullthewool howdareyou bitchbitchbitch. It appeared that Strindberg had succeeded where Jumpy (because absent) had failed.
    The watcher in the upper branches dematerialized; the other, with a satisfied nod, strolled away down an avenue of shady, spreading trees.

    The telephone calls which now began to be received, first at their London residence and subsequently at a remote address in Dumfries and Galloway, by both Allie and Gibreel, were not too frequent; then again, they could not be termed infrequent. Nor were there too many voices to be plausible; then again, there were quiteenough. These were not brief calls, such as those made by heavy breathers and other abusers of the telephone network, but, conversely, they never lasted long enough for the police, eavesdropping, to track them to their source. Nor did the whole unsavoury episode last very long – a mere matter of three and a half weeks, after which the callers desisted forever; but it might also be mentioned that it went on exactly as long as it needed to, that is, until it had driven Gibreel Farishta to do to Allie Cone what he had previously done to Saladin – namely, the Unforgivable Thing.
    It should be said that nobody, not Allie, not Gibreel, not even the professional phone-tappers they brought in, ever suspected the calls of being a single man’s work; but for Saladin Chamcha, once renowned (if only in somewhat specialist circles) as the Man of a Thousand Voices, such a deception was a simple matter, entirely lacking in effort or risk. In all, he was obliged to select (from his thousand voices and a voice) a total of no more than thirty-nine.
    When Allie answered, she heard unknown men murmuring intimate secrets in her ear, strangers who seemed to know her body’s most remote recesses, faceless beings who gave evidence of having learned, by experience, her choicest preferences among the myriad forms of love; and once the attempts at tracing the calls had begun her humiliation grew, because now she was unable simply to replace the receiver, but had to stand and listen, hot in the face and cold along the spine, making attempts (which didn’t work) actually to prolong the calls.
    Gibreel also got his share of voices: superb Byronic aristocrats boasting of having ‘conquered Everest’, sneering guttersnipes, unctuous best-friend voices mingling warning and mock-commiseration,
a word to the wise, how stupid can you, don’t you know yet what she’s, anything in trousers, you poor moron, take it from a pal
. But one voice stood out from the rest, the high soulful voice of a poet, one of the first voices Gibreel heard and the one that got deepest under his skin; a voice that spoke exclusively in rhyme, reciting doggerel verses of an understated naïvety, even innocence, which contrasted so greatly with the masturbatorycoarseness of most of the other callers that Gibreel soon came to think of it as the most insidiously menacing of all.
    I like coffee, I like tea
,
I like things you do with me
.

    Tell her that
, the voice swooned, and rang off. Another day it returned with another jingle:
    I like butter, I like toast
,
You’re the one I love the most
.

    Give her that message, too; if you’d be so kind
. There was something demonic, Gibreel decided, something profoundly immoral about cloaking corruption in this greetings-card tum-ti-tum.
    Rosy apple, lemon tart
,
Here’s the name of my sweetheart
.

    A … l … l …
Gibreel, in disgust and fear, banged down the receiver; and trembled. After that the versifier stopped calling for a while; but his was the voice Gibreel started waiting for, dreading its