The Science of Discworld II

scholars would be furious if we excluded Finnegan’s Wake , which reads exactly like that.
    5 See The Science of Discworld , ‘A giant leap for moonkind’.

FIVE
REMARKABLY LIKE ANKH-MORPORK
    â€˜H OW CAN YOU COMMUNICATE LIKE THIS ?’ panted Ponder, as they jogged along beside a broad river.
    â€˜Since the physics of Roundworld are subordinate to the physics of the real world, I can use anything considered to be a communication device,’ said the voice of Hex, slightly muffled in Rincewind’s pocket. ‘The owner of this device believes it to be one such. Also, I can deduce much information from this world’s footprint in L-space. And the Archchancellor was right. There is much Elvish influence here.’
    â€˜You can extract information from Roundworld books?’ said Ponder.
    â€˜Yes. The phase space of books that relate to this world contains ten to the power of 1,100 to the power of n volumes,’ said Hex.
    â€˜That’s enough books to fill the univ— hold on, what is n ?’
    â€˜The number of all possible universes.’
    â€˜Then that’s enough books to fill all possible universes! Well … as close as makes no difference, anyway.’
    â€˜Correct. That is why there is never enough bookshelf space. However, because of the subordinate temporal matrix of this world, I can use virtual computing,’ said Hex. ‘Once you know what the answer is, the process of calculation can be seriously reduced. Once the correct answer is found, the fruitless channels of inquiry cease to exist. Besides, if you deduct all the books that are about golf, cats, slood 1 and cookery the number is really quite manageable.’
    â€˜Oook,’ said the Librarian.
    â€˜He says he’s not going to have a shave,’ said Rincewind.
    â€˜It is essential,’ said Hex. ‘We are getting strange glances from people in the fields. We do not wish to attract a mob. He must be shaved, and given a robe and hat.’
    Rincewind was doubtful. ‘I don’t think that’ll fool anyone,’ he said.
    â€˜My readings tell me that it will if you say he’s Spanish.’
    â€˜What’s Spanish?’
    â€˜Spain is a country some five hundred miles from this one.’
    â€˜And people there look like him?’
    â€˜No. But people here would be quite prepared to believe so. This is a credulous age. The elves have done a lot of damage. The greatest minds spend half their time busying themselves with the study of magic, astrology, alchemy and communion with spirits.’
    â€˜Well? Sounds just like life at home,’ said Rincewind.
    â€˜Yes,’ said Hex. ‘But there is no narrativium in this world. No magic. None of those things work.’
    â€˜Then why don’t they just stop trying it?’ said Ponder.
    â€˜My inference is that they believe it should work if only they get it right.’
    â€˜Poor devils,’ said Rincewind.
    â€˜They believe in those, too.’
    â€˜There’s more houses ahead,’ said Ponder. ‘We’re coming to a city. Er … and we’ve got the Luggage with us. Hex, we haven’t just got an orangutan with us, we’ve got a box on legs!’
    â€˜Yes. We must leave it in some bushes while we find a voluminous dress and a wig,’ said Hex calmly. ‘Fortunately, this is the right period.’
    â€˜A dress won’t work, believe me!’
    â€˜It will if the Librarian sits on the Luggage,’ said Hex. ‘That will bring him up to the right height and the dress will provide adequate cover for the Luggage.’
    â€˜Now hang on a moment,’ said Rincewind. ‘You saying that people here will believe an ape in a dress and a wig is a woman?’
    â€˜They will if you say she’s Spanish.’
    Rincewind took another look at the Librarian.
    â€˜Those elves really must have done a lot of damage,’ he said.
    The city was remarkably like Ankh-Morpork, although smaller and, unbelievably, smellier. One reason for that was the large number of animals in the streets. It was as if the place had been designed as a village and simply scaled up.
    The wizards hadn’t been hard to find. Hex located them easily, but in any case the noise could be heard in the next street. There was a tavern, with a courtyard, and in the courtyard a crowd of alcohol, which contained people, was watching a man trying to beat Archchancellor Ridcully