The Science of Discworld II

their singing. It could turn other creatures into potential slaves. The second talent was their ability to change not their shape but how their shape was perceived. For a moment Rincewind caught sight of a slim, spare figure glaring at him and then, in one blurred moment, it became a woman. A queen, in a red dress and a rage.
    â€˜Wizards?’ she said. ‘Here? Why? How? Tell me!’
    A gold crown glittered in her dark hair and murder gleamed in her eyes as she advanced on Rincewind, who backed up against his tree.
    â€˜This is not your world!’ the elf queen hissed.
    â€˜You’d be amazed,’ said Rincewind. ‘Now!’
    The queen’s brow wrinkled. ‘Now?’ she repeated.
    â€˜Yes, I said now ,’ Rincewind said, grinning desperately. ‘ Now was the word I said, in fact. Now !’
    For a moment the queen looked puzzled. And then she somersaulted backwards in a high arc, just as the Luggage’s lid snapped shutwhere she had been. She landed behind it, hissed at Rincewind, and vanished into the night.
    Rincewind glared at the box. ‘Why did you wait? Did I tell you to wait?’ he demanded. ‘You just like to stand right behind people and wait for them to find out, right?’
    He looked around. There was no sign of any more elves. In the middle distance the Dean, having run out of enemies, was attacking a tree.
    Then Rincewind looked up. Along the branches, clinging to one another and staring down at him in wide-eyed amazement, were dozens of what looked, in the moonlight, like rather small and worried monkeys.
    â€˜Good evening!’ he said. ‘Don’t worry about us, we’re just passing through …’
    â€˜Now this is where it all gets complicated,’ said a voice behind him. It was a familiar one, being his own. ‘I’ve only got a few seconds before the loop closes, so here’s what you have to do. When you go back to Dee’s time … hold your breath.’
    â€˜Are you me ?’ said Rincewind, peering into the gloom.
    â€˜Yes. And I’m telling you to hold your breath. Would I lie to me?’
    There was an inrush of air as the other Rincewind disappeared and, down in the clearing, Ridcully bellowed Rincewind’s name.
    Rincewind stopped looking around and hurried down to the other wizards, who were looking immensely pleased with themselves.
    â€˜Ah, Rincewind, I thought you wouldn’t want to be left behind,’ said the Archchancellor, grinning nastily. ‘Got any, did you?’
    â€˜The queen, in fact,’ said Rincewind.
    â€˜Really? I’m impressed!’
    â€˜But she – it got away.’
    â€˜They’ve all gone,’ said Ponder. ‘I saw a blue flash on that hill up there. They’ve gone back to their world.’
    â€˜D’you think they’ll come back?’ said Ridcully.
    â€˜It doesn’t matter if they do, sir. Hex will spot them and we can always get there in time.’
    Ridcully cracked his knuckles. ‘Good. Capital exercise. Much better than magicking paint at one another. Builds grit and team interdependency. Someone go and stop the Dean attacking that rock, willyou? He does rather get carried away.’
    A faint white ring appeared on the grass, wide enough to hold the wizards.
    â€˜Ah, the ride back,’ said the Archchancellor, as the excited Dean was hustled towards the rest of the group. ‘Time to—’
    The wizards were suddenly in empty air. They fell. All but one of them were not holding their breath before they hit the river.
    Wizards do, however, have good floating capabilities and a tendency to bob up and down. And the river was in any case rather like a slowly moving swamp. Floating logs and mud banks choked it. Here and there, mud banks had become sufficiently established to sprout a crop of trees. By degrees, and with much arguing about where dry land actually began – it was not very obvious – they splashed their way to the shore. The sun was hot overhead, and clouds of mosquitoes shimmered among the trees.
    â€˜Hex has brought us back to the wrong time,’ said Ridcully, wringing out his robe.
    â€˜I don’t think he’d do that, Archchancellor,’ said Ponder, meekly.
    â€˜The wrong place, then. This is not a city, in case you hadn’t noticed.’
    Ponder looked around in bewilderment. The landscape around them was not exactly land and not exactly river. Ducks