The Science of Discworld II

Well?’
    â€˜It’s a big heap, right?’
    â€˜And?’ said Ridcully. ‘I’m quite fond of mussels myself.’
    â€˜You see that hill further along the bank? The one covered in grass? And the one behind that, with all the shrubs and trees? And the – well, see how the whole area is a lot higher than rest of the land around here? If you want to know why, just kick the soil away. It’s mussel shells all the way down! These people have been here for thousands and thousands of years!’
    The tiny clan had followed them and were watching with the uncomprehending interest that was their ground-state expression. Several of them waded in after mussels.
    â€˜That’s a lot of shellfish,’ said the Dean. ‘Obviously not a taboo animal.’
    â€˜Yes, and that’s surprising because frankly these people seem related to them,’ said Rincewind wearily. ‘Their stone tools are frankly rubbish and they can’t build huts and they can’t even make fire.’
    â€˜But we saw a—’
    â€˜Yes. They’ve got fire. They wait for lightning to strike a tree or set fire to grass,’ said Rincewind. ‘Then they just keep it going for years and years. Believe me, it took a lot of grunting and pointing to work that one out. And they have no idea about art. I mean, you know, pictures? I drew a picture of a cow in the dirt and they seemed puzzled. I really think they were just seeing … well, lines. Just lines.’
    â€˜Perhaps you’re not very good at cow pictures?’ said Ridcully.
    â€˜Look around,’ said Rincewind. ‘No beads, no face paint, no decoration. You don’t have to be very advanced to knock out a bear claw necklace. Even people who live in caves know how to draw. Ever seen those caves up in Ubergigle? Buffaloes and mammoths as far as the eye can see.’
    â€˜I must say you’ve seemed to strike up a rapport with them very quickly, Rincewind,’ said Ponder.
    â€˜Well, I’ve always been good at understanding other people enough to get an inkling of when to start running,’ said Rincewind.
    â€˜You don’t always have to run, do you?’
    â€˜Yes. Of course. The important thing is to know when it’s the appropriate moment, though. Ah, this one’s Ug,’ said Rincewind, as a white-haired man prodded him with a thick finger. ‘So are all the others.’
    The current Ug pointed towards the Shell Midden foothills.
    â€˜He appears to want us to go with him,’ said Ponder.
    â€˜He might,’ said Rincewind. ‘Or he might be pointing out where he last had a really satisfying bowel movement. See them all watching us?’
    â€˜Yes.’
    â€˜See that strange expression they have?’
    â€˜Yes.’
    â€˜You wonder what they’re thinking?’
    â€˜Yes.’
    â€˜Nothing. Believe me. That expression means that they’re waiting for the next thought to turn up.’
    Beyond the Shell Midden Mountains was a thicket of willows, and in the centre of the thicket was a much older tree, or what remained of one. It had been split in two, was now dead, and at some point had been burned.
    The clan hung back, but the white-haired Ug followed them into it a little way.
    Something crackled under Rincewind’s foot. He looked down, saw a yellowing bone, and nearly experienced an appropriate moment. Then he spotted the faint hummocks around the clearing, many of them overgrown.
    â€˜And here’s the tree that fire came from,’ said Ridcully, who had noticed them as well. ‘Sacred ground, gentlemen. And they bury their dead.’
    â€˜Not exactly buried ,’ said Rincewind. ‘More just left , I think you’ll find. I think they just want to show me where they got fire.’
    Ridcully reached for his pipe.
    â€˜These people really don’t make it?’ he said.
    â€˜They didn’t understand the question,’ said Rincewind. ‘Well, I say question … they didn’t understand what I hope was the question. We’re not talking progressive thinkers here. It must have been a big step when they invented the idea of taking the skins off animals before wearing them. I’ve never met any people quite so … well, dull . I can’t work them out. They’re not exactly stupid, but their idea of repartee is an answer within ten minutes.’
    â€˜Well, this’ll buck their ideas up,’