The Truth About Faking

confidence I was feeling. I stop moving back, but I’m not sure I can form a coherent sentence now. It reminds me of that first day he appeared in church and I had to sing. Only tonight I just had dinner, so there’s no way this is low blood sugar.
    “I really wanted to see you,” I manage to say.
    He takes another step toward me. “News travels fast,” he says. “So you heard Stephanie called it off?”
    “No… When? What’d she say?”
    There’s a hint of his old smile in the corners of his eyes. “Something about going away to college,” he says. “And not wanting a long-distance relationship.”
    I almost laugh, and I feel the smallest bit of hope, like I can actually do what I rode over here to do.
    “I’m sorry.” I clear my throat and try to act sympathetic. “I hope you’re not too disappointed.”
    “I’m not,” he says, watching me.
    I’m quiet again, and as I search for the right words, I realize I’m not very good at saying how I feel. I think about what Shelly said, and I think about Stephanie, too. They both say he still has a thing for me. I think about everything that’s happened, and I know this is it, time to make my assertiveness move—only this time with the right guy. Fifty cents. Break the Cycle.
    “Jason,” I blurt. “I know I acted stupid and you’re mad. And you’re right to be mad. But…” I close my mouth and breathe, trying to slow down, to be cool. “I really do want us to be together. And it has nothing to do with Trent.”
    He crosses his arms over his chest, still watching me. I step forward and reach out to touch him. I’m actually doing it, and I feel like I’m going to be sick.
    “I think you do, too,” I say, looking directly into his brown eyes. My stomach is completely clenched.
    He looks at me for a beat longer and then slides his arms down. “You think so?”
    I nod taking another step toward him. “I mean, we did have fun, didn’t we?” I steal his question from the night we played Truth or Dare. Only it’s my turn now to get the truth. “And aren’t you just a little sorry we’re not together anymore?”
    He doesn’t answer, but I still see that little smile lurking in his eyes. “I don’t know,” he says. “I kind of enjoyed watching you not look at me in class today.”
    “Are you saying I’m not very sneaky?”
    He reaches up and slides that stray piece of hair out of my face. “Not even a little bit,” he says softly. I lean my cheek toward his hand, closing my eyes for a moment. And in that brief space he leans forward and brushes his lips against mine.
    It’s the same tiny kiss as that last night at the creek, our lips barely touching, but my knees get weak and all the feelings I’ve been holding for the last three days go rushing to my head. I catch the front of his shirt for balance as he opens his arms, and in one movement I’m back in them again, warm and strong and not giving up. We’re quiet for a moment, and I can feel my heart beating so fast.
    “I guess you’re right,” he says. I look up at him, and he smiles back. I study his face, his brown hair, then I start to giggle.
    “What?” he smiles.
    “Dark chocolate with milk chocolate highlights.”
    “Shelly,” he groans, rolling his eyes.
    “She was seriously hoping something would happen with you two.”
    “No shit. Talk about an octopus.”
    I slant my eyes, and he quickly changes it. “I mean, yeah. Tell me about it.”
    I pull myself close to him again and feel him inhale at the top of my head. “Mmm,” he breathes. “Missed that.”
    “What?”
    “You always smell like… like little flowers or something,” he smiles. Then he leans close and lowers his voice. “It’s very distracting in class.”
    The butterflies zoom through my stomach. “It’s honeysuckle,” I say, lifting my chin for a kiss. He pulls me close, sealing his lips over mine, warm and perfect.
    “I wish we were at the creek.” I move my head to his shoulder and think of the currents that would be trickling downstream right now.
    He holds me, and I feel his fingers playing with the ends of my hair. I think of our first dance all those weeks ago at the luau.
    “So is it our turn to come out now?” he asks. “We’re officially together? For real?”
    “Yes,” I say, nodding. “For real.”
    He leans back, eyes twinkling. “If that’s the case, does that mean skinny dipping?”
    I glance at him, biting my smile. “No.”
    “I promise not to steal your