The Truth

said Goodmountain.
    “I mean, you gave me a key and everything,” said Sacharissa nervously. “But there was this man in the cellar, highly inebriated, and he looked just like Lord Vetinari, and then these men turned up and knocked out Rocky and then—”
    “I’m not suggesting anything,” said Goodmountain, “but if these aren’t stolen, then I know plenty of places that’d give us top dollar, even at this time of night—”
    “—and of course they were most impolite but really there was nothing I could do—”
    “—we could do with a bit of immediate cash, is the point I’m trying to make—”
    It dawned on the girl and the dwarf that William was no longer listening. He seemed locked, blank-faced, in a little bubble of silence.
    Slowly, he pulled the Dis-organizer towards him, and pressed the button marked “Recall.” There was a muffled “ouch.”
    “ …nyip-nyap mapnyap nyee-wheedlewheedlewheee… ”
    “What’s that noise?” said Sacharissa.
    “It’s how an imp remembers,” said William distantly. “It…sort of plays its life backwards. I used to have an early version of this,” he added.
    The noise stopped. The imp said, very apprehensively, “What happened to it?”
    “I took it back to the shop because it wasn’t working properly,” said William.
    “That’s a relief,” said the imp. “You’d be amazed at some of the terrible things people did to the Mk I. What went wrong with it?”
    “It got flung through a third-floor window,” said William, “for being unhelpful.”
    This imp was a little brighter than most of the species. It saluted smartly.
    “ …wheeeewheedlewheedle nyap-nyark…Testing, testing…seems okay—”
    “That’s Brother Pin!” said Sacharissa.
    “—say something, Mr. Tulip, ” and the voice became the damp growl of Sister Jennifer. “ What’ll I say? It’s not natural, talkin’ to a —ing box. This box, Mr. Tulip, may be a passport to better times. I thought we were getting the —ing money. Yes, and this’ll help us keep it…nyipnyip… ”
    “Go forward a bit,” William commanded.
    “—whee…nyip dog has got personality. Personality counts for a lot. And the legal precedents—”
    “That’s Slant!” said Boddony. “That lawyer!”
    “ What shall I do with the jewels? ” said Goodmountain.
    “…nyipnyip…I can add another five thousand dollars in jewels to your fee…nyip…”
    “I want to know who’s giving me these orders…nyip…not be stupid, either. My…clients have long memories and deep pockets…” In its terror the imp was skipping.
    William pressed the Pause button.
    “Slant gave him the money,” he said. “Slant was paying him. Did you hear him mention clients? You understand? This is one of the men who attacked Vetinari! And they had a key to our house?”
    “But we can’t just keep the money!” said Sacharissa.
    William pressed the button again.
    “…nyip…they say, a lie can run around the world before the truth has got its boots on…”
    “Obviously, we—” Sacharissa began.
    He pressed the button.
    “Wheeewheedlewheedle lie can run around the world before the truth has got its boots on.”
    He pressed a button again.
    “Wheeewheedlewheedle can run around the world before the truth has got its boots on.”
    “Wheeewheedlewheedle around the world before the truth has got its boots on.”
    “Wheeewheedle the truth has got its boots on.”
    “Are you all right, William?” said Sacharissa, as he stood motionless.
    “Delayed shock,” Goodmountain whispered. “It can take people that way.”
    “Mister Goodmountain,” said William sharply, still with his back to them, “did you say you could get me another press?”
    “I said they cost a—”
    “—handful of rubies, perhaps?”
    Goodmountain opened his hand.
    “ Are these ours, then?”
    “Yes!”
    “Well…in the morning I could buy a dozen presses, but it’s not like buying sweets—”
    “I want go to press in half an hour,” said William. “Otto, I want pictures of Brother Pin’s leg. I want quotes from everyone, even Foul Ole Ron. And a picture of Wuffles, Otto. And I want a printing press!”
    “I told you, where could we get a printing press at this time of ni—”
    The floor shook. The heaps of rubble shifted.
    All eyes turned to the high lighted windows of the Inquirer .
    Sacharissa, who had been watching William wide-eyed, breathed so heavily that Otto groaned and averted his face and started to hum