The Zurich Conspiracy

That’s when I began to defend myself. I did not want to lose you. I sought help from doctors and psychologists. Filomena and I gradually became closer again; we talked long and hard, something we had done all too rarely in our marriage.
    Unfortunately her condition rapidly worsened in the next few months. It was her express wish that we not tell you children how bad she was. Maybe that was a mistake. I think she could not even admit it to herself. She never gave up hope for a cure, to the end. But as a result her death must have been a much greater shock for you children.
    As the end neared, she needed stronger and stronger painkillers. They changed her personality more and more. As I told you earlier, she was exceedingly confused. Shortly before she died, her mind reverted to the time when she wanted to go to Italy and take you with her. That is why she insisted that “Josefa belongs to me.”
    I have never told you and your brother about how confused she became because I did not want to cloud your memory of your mother in that way.
    I hope this answers your question.
    When you have children yourself, you will see that it is easy to make mistakes in difficult situations. I was certainly not immune to them then and am still not. But I do not want to carry guilty feelings around with me my whole life long because of it. And I am just not able to anymore.
    All best wishes from
    Papa
    Josefa folded the pages and put them back in the envelope. She stared out the window for a long time. The chain of hills on the horizon dissolved into white clouds. The sky was pleasant in spite of the gray. Josefa wanted to have a question answered, and here was an answer at last. One answer. But would she ever get answers to all her questions?
    Claire came to mind. What could have happened to her? Franz Kündig had left for Zurich four days ago…
    The phone on the night table rang. That must be Helene.
    But somebody else’s voice was on the line. A husky whisper.
    “Josephine, how are you? I feel so sorry for you!”
    She almost dropped the receiver. It was Joan Caroll.
    “Josephine, I heard about those awful goings-on. It’s just terrible, the things that happened to you!”
    Josefa tried to sound as unruffled as possible. “So nice of you to call, Joan. I’m feeling pretty well, under the circumstances.”
    “Is it true about Pius, Josephine? People are saying he tried to kill you.”
    That surprised her. Word got around fast. “No, probably not. He might well have got lost in the cave and couldn’t find his way back. Some water flooded in, you know. The people who rescued me think he drowned.”
    “Oh, Josephine, that must have been so dreadful for you. I absolutely had to talk to you. I owe you an explanation.”
    Josefa burst out, “Because of the earrings.”
    “Yes,” she heard Joan say. “It wasn’t very clever of me, and I hope you’re not angry because of it. Pius gave them to me as a present.”
    “Pius?” Josefa sat down on the edge of the bed.
    “Yes, he always paid so much attention to me, he…was after me and…there was nothing between us, believe me. But sometimes a woman needs a little consoling when she’s tired and down. I didn’t put Pius in his place firmly enough. That was unprofessional of me. He gave me those earrings, and I accepted them. Afterward I saw pictures of Pamela Hartwell wearing the same earrings. I caught on right away. I was furious. Do you see what I mean, Josephine?”
    “Not quite, but please go on, Joan.”
    “Oh, it’s so humiliating, Josephine. I sent you the earrings because I wanted Pius to see them. So that he’d get the message. I thought you’d tell him about them or wear them when he was with you. It was a stupid, petty act of revenge. I’m so sorry.”
    Helene peeked into the room. Josefa gave her a sign and her friend tiptoed over to the chair by the window and sat down.
    “I was enraged at the time, especially at men. I felt used and deceived. I wanted to let him have it right back.”
    Josefa looked at Helene apologetically. “No need to explain. We all have those feelings,” she replied.
    “Josephine, there’s something else you must know. The jewels are genuine. Pamela must have been wearing copies.”
    “Copies?”
    “Yes. Pius said the earrings were his great-aunt’s. Wealthy women often have copies made of their expensive jewelry. They keep the real ones in a safe and wear the imitations. Pamela Hartwell got the imitations. The genuine