This Girl: A Novel

“The look on your face when she was walking up the driveway toward you, it was awful. I was so afraid you would think I told her because I was mad at you.”
    “I was so scared of her that day, Lake. She could be really intimidating when she wanted to be. Of course after we talked again later that night, I saw a more vulnerable side to her, but still. I was scared to death of her.”
    Lake jerks up on the bed and looks at me. “What do you mean when y’all talked again?”
    “Later that night when she came back to my house. Did I never tell you that?”
    “No,” she says abruptly, almost like I’ve deceived her. “Why did she come back? What did she say?”
    “Wait, let me start from the beginning. I want to tell you about the night before she found out,” I say. “I slammed a poem about you.”
    She perks up. “No way! How come you never told me?”
    I shrug. “I was hurt. It wasn’t a positive piece.”
    “I want to hear about it, anyway,” she says.

this girl
    I’M HOPING THIS situation is like dieting, where they say day three is when the cravings start to subside. I really hope that’s the case. The fact that she sits two feet from me in class makes my mind feel like a damn hurricane. It takes everything in me not to look at her during third period. In fact, I spend the entire time in my class trying not to look at her. I’ve been fairly successful, which is good considering Gavin still watches me like a hawk. At least it felt like he was today, anyway. I’ve never so looked forward to a weekend off in my life.
    One. More. Day.
    “I might be a little late tonight, Maya. I’m performing so I may stay until it’s over.”
    She plops down on the sofa with a carton of ice cream. “Whatever,” she says.
    I grab my keys and head out the front door. No matter how hard I try not to, I glance across the street during my short walk to the car. I could swear I see her living room curtain snap shut. I stop and stare for a minute, but it doesn’t move again.
    •••
    I’M ONE OF the first to arrive, so I take one of the seats toward the front of the room. I’m hoping the energy from the crowd will distract me long enough to get out of this funk. I’m almost embarrassed to admit it, but I feel more heartbroken over this entire situation with Lake than I did when Vaughn dumped me. I’m sure a lot of that heartache was lost in the heartache from losing my parents, so maybe it just seems different for that reason. How could ending things with a girl who wasn’t even my girlfriend to begin with possibly cause this much distress?
    “Hey, Mr. Cooper,” Gavin says. He and Eddie pull out their chairs and sit at the table with me. Unlike last week, I actually welcome their distraction tonight.
    “For the last time, Gavin, call me Will. It’s weird hearing you say that when we’re not in class.”
    “Hey, Will,” Eddie says sarcastically. “You doing one tonight?”
    I had planned on performing, but seeing Gavin has me second-guessing my choice. I know most of the pieces I perform are metaphorical, but he’ll see right through this one. Not that it matters; he already knows how I feel.
    “Yeah,” I say to Eddie. “I’m doing a new one.”
    “Cool,” she says. “Did you write it for that girl?” She turns around and scans the room. “Where is she? I thought I saw you leaving with someone last week.” She returns her focus to me. “Was she your girlfriend?”
    Gavin and I immediately look at each other. He makes a face that tells me he didn’t say anything to Eddie. I try to steady my expression when I respond.
    “Just a friend.”
    Eddie pushes her bottom lip out and pouts. “Friend, huh? That sucks. We really need to hook you up with someone.” She leans forward onto the table and puts her chin in her hands while studying me. “Gavin, who can we hook Will up with?”
    He rolls his eyes. “Why do you always think you have to hook everyone up? Not everyone feels the need to be in a relationship every second of their lives.” He’s obviously trying to squelch the subject and I appreciate him for that.
    “I don’t try to hook everyone up,” she says. “Just the people who clearly need it.” She looks back at me. “No offense, Will. It’s just—you know. You never date. It might do you some good.”
    “Enough, Eddie,” Gavin snaps.
    “What? Two people, Gavin! I’ve mentioned finding dates for two people this week. That’s not excessive. Besides, I think I may have