Tick Tock

driveway. Although the clouds had begun to shred in the night sky, she wore ankle-high rubber boots, black slacks, a raincoat, and a plastic rain scarf. Her ability to predict the weather was not as impressive as Mrs. Payne's.
    Del stayed behind the wheel with the engine running. Getting out of the Jaguar, Tommy said, “Mom, I don't—”
    Interrupting him, she said, “Get in backseat. I sit up front with terrible woman.” When he hesitated, she said, “Go, go, foolish boy, less than hour to dawn.”
    Tommy scrambled into the backseat with Scootie.
    When his mother got in beside Del and pulled the passenger door shut, Tommy leaned forward from the back and said, “Mom, I'd like you to meet Deliverance Payne. Del, this—”
    Glowering at Del, his mother said, “I don't like you.”
    Grinning, Del said, “Really? Already, I like you a lot.”
    “Let's go,” Tommy's mother said.
    Backing into the street, Del said, “Where?”
    “Go left. Just drive, I tell you when turn. Gi say you save Tommy's life.”
    “She saved my life more than once,” Tommy said. “She—”
    “Don't think you save my son's life then I like you,” Tommy's mother warned Del.
    “Earlier, I almost shot him.”
    “Is true?”
    “True,” Del confirmed.
    “So okay, maybe could like you a little,” Tommy's mother grumbled.
    Glancing back at Tommy, Del said, “She's a hoot.”
    “Gi says you total stranger to Tommy.”
    “Served him dinner maybe ten hours ago but only really met him less than six hours ago,” Del confirmed.
    “Served dinner?”
    “I'm a waitress.”
    “He eat cheeseburgers?”
    “Two of them.”
    “Stupid boy. No dating?”
    “Tommy and me? No, we've never dated.”
    “Good. Don't. Here, turn right.”
    “Where are we going?” Tommy asked.
    “Hairdresser.”
    “We're going to the hairdresser? Why?”
    “You wait, you see,” said his mother. Then to Del: “He's a bad boy, break your heart.”
    “Mom!” he said, mortified.
    “Can't break my heart if I don't date him,” Del said.
    “Smart girl.”
    Scootie squeezed past Tommy and thrust his big head into the front seat, sniffing suspiciously at the new passenger.
    Turning in her seat, Tommy's mother met the dog face to face.
    Scootie grinned, tongue lolling.
    “Don't like dogs,” she said. “Dirty animals, always licking. You lick me, lose tongue.”
    Scootie still grinned at her and slowly eased his head closer, sniffing, surely on the verge of licking.
    Baring her teeth at the Labrador, Tommy's mother made a warning sound low in her throat.
    Startled, Scootie twitched, drew back, but then bared his teeth and growled in response. His ears flattened against his skull.
    Tommy's mother bared her teeth further and issued a growl meaner than the dog's.
    Whimpering, Scootie retreated, curling up in a comer of the backseat.
    “Turn left next block.”
    Hoping to ingratiate himself, Tommy said, “Mom, I was so sorry to hear about Mai. What could've gotten into her, running away with a magician?”
    Glowering at Tommy in the rear-view mirror, she said, “Brother was bad example. Young girl ruined by brother's bad example, future destroyed by brother's bad example.”
    “Which brother would that be?” Del asked teasingly.
    Tommy said, “Mom, that's not fair.”
    “Yeah,” Del said, “Tommy's never run off with a magician.” She glanced away from the street, at Tommy. “Er… have you, tofu boy?”
    Mother Phan said, “Marriage already arranged, future bright, now good Vietnamese boy left without bride.”
    “An arranged marriage?” Del marvelled.
    “Nguyen boy, nice boy,” said Tommy's mother.
    “Chip Nguyen?” Del wondered.
    Tommy's mother hissed with disgust. “Not silly detective chases blondes, shoots everyone.”
    “Nguyen is the Vietnamese equivalent of Smith,” Tommy told Del.
    “So why didn't you call your detective Chip Smith?”
    “I probably should have.”
    “I'll tell you why you didn't,” Del said. “You're proud of your heritage.”
    “He pisses on heritage,” Tommy's mother said.
    “Mom!”
    Tommy was so shocked by her language that his chest tightened, and he had to struggle to draw a breath. She never used foul words. That she had done so now was proof of an anger greater than she had ever displayed before.
    Del said, “Actually, Mrs. Phan, you misunderstand Tommy. Family is very important to him. If you'd give him a chance—”
    “Did I say don't like you?”
    “I believe you mentioned it,” Del said.
    “More you talk, less I like.”
    “Mom, I've never seen you be rude to anyone before—anyone not in the