Touched by an Alien

work independently of the other federal agencies. Besides,” she said, patting my knee, “I really am a consultant.”
    “Yeah, in the past twenty-eight years, she’s mostly consulted with international and multinational corporations, teaching them how to protect against terrorist attacks, how to get their people out of hostage situations, things like that.”
    “So you got pregnant and had to slow down?” I asked a bit more sarcastically than I’d intended.
    Mom shook her head. “You make sacrifices for your child, and all she can do is be resentful.”
    “So, how long have you known about the aliens?”
    Mom looked completely shocked. “What aliens?”
    Martini coughed, loudly. “Uh, maybe we should cover that back at headquarters.”
    “She doesn’t know?” I was shouting, but I’d had about all I could take.
    Christopher turned around. “What’s the matter, princess? Want to turn all the work over to Mommy?”
    I lunged at him. I would have gotten him, too, even though he jerked away toward the windshield, if Martini hadn’t grabbed me by the waist. “Listen, you little weasel, let’s go, right here.” I clawed at him, I’d had enough.
    “Katherine Katt!” Mom’s tone was one I’d heard all my life: I was in trouble.
    “He started it!”
    “And I’m finishing it.” Mom pushed on my shoulders, gently, and I let Martini pull me back next to him. She turned around. “Christopher, I rather like you, but if you insult my daughter again in my presence, I’ll break your neck. And trust me, I can do it.” She turned back. “That goes for the rest of you, too.”
    There was dead silence in the limo. Gower and Martini were exchanging meaningful looks. I got the impression they were trying to make escape plans in case Mom or I totally lost it. Christopher was glowering and looked embarrassed. Reader was driving in the intent way people do when they do not want to engage the rest of the car’s occupants at all. And I was seething at Christopher and still trying to readjust my entire life’s history into what I’d learned in the last few minutes.
    On cue, my cell phone rang. Everyone jumped, and I dug through my purse for it. It took a little longer to find than usual—the run in with Mephistopheles had jumbled stuff up more than normal. I got my phone opened on the sixth ring. “Hi, Dad!”
    “Kitty, sorry I’m calling a little late, couldn’t get off the phone with your Aunt Karen. So, how goes it?”
    Wow. Now there was a question I had no idea how to answer. “Um … pretty good.” Well, we were all alive, right? That was on the good end of the spectrum.
    “You sound funny. Are you really okay?”
    No, but I didn’t think telling him that was a good idea. “I’m pretty good. Kind of tired. Lots of running around.”
    “Are you in Guantánamo?” he asked sharply.
    I managed a strangled laugh. “No, Dad, I’m in a limo.”
    “Oh, nice. Hero treatment? Good. So, everything else okay? Do I need to call Uncle Mort?”
    “No, no Uncle Mort right now.” I looked at Mom, in case she disagreed. She nodded.
    “You know, I can’t reach your mother,” he said. “Maybe she’s back on the plane.”
    “Um, I don’t know why you can’t reach Mom,” I said, giving her the “what now” look.
    She sighed and held out her hand. I put the phone in it. “Hi, honey,” she said. There was a pause while I figured Dad reassessed the situation. “Yes, I’m with Kitty.” Pause. “Noooo, we’re not in Vegas.” She gave me the “what the hell” look. I did the universal “fake it” response.
    “No, in New York.” Pause. “Yes, Kitty’s new friends in …” Martini, Gower, and I all mouthed, “Homeland Security,” “… Homeland Security came and picked me up.”
    Pause, eye roll. “Yes, they have fast jets.” Pause, closed eyes. “We’re fine. Really.” Sigh, eyes open. “Yes, it’s related to my job.” Annoyed face. “No, I did not ask them to pull Kitty in. You shouldn’t even have to ask that.” Really annoyed face. “No, you are not calling Mort. If I want backup, I will call for backup. I do not want backup, we do not need backup, and Kitty is an adult and is doing just fine, thank you.”
    Longer pause while I guessed Dad was ranting. Mom had a very resigned, heard it all before look on her face. “Honey? I love you, Kitty loves you, and we are in the middle of helping Homeland Security with a major situation, so, please, stop worrying.”
    Stop