Touched by an Alien

worrying? She tells him that and he’s supposed to not worry? I started questioning Mom’s ability to handle a situation that didn’t involve guns.
    Mom sighed again. “Honey, look, everything’s fine.” Narrowed eyes. “No, I don’t know there are several gray cars parked around the house.” I made violent movements, pointing at Martini, Gower, the limo, and the car behind us. Mom nodded. “They’re probably Homeland Security vehicles.”
    Ah, her “duh” look. “Yes, guarding you.” Double duh. “Yes, to keep you safe.” Rolling eyes again. “No, frankly, I think spending our tax dollars on your protection is a good use of funds. I couldn’t care less about some stupid owls in Oregon, okay?” Ah, their old argument. Dad was far more ecologically minded than Mom. I knew where this conversation was headed.
    I cleared my throat. Mom looked over. “I’ll take it from here,” I suggested as I put my hand out.
    “Love you, honey, here’s Kitty back,” Mom said hurriedly. She flung my phone back to me.
    “Dad, let’s keep it down to just a family level, okay?” I said, as I heard him start in on his usual eco-friendly rant.
    “Fine,” he said, clearly still upset. “What is really going on?”
    “Pretty much what I told you. When they discovered I was related to Mom, they pulled her in. Nice of the two of you to share what she really did for a living.”
    Guilt trips always worked on my father. He went instantly into contrition mode. “Kitten, I’m sorry. We didn’t want you to worry. Your mother knows what she’s doing, and she hasn’t done fieldwork since before you were born.” This I felt was a whopping lie, but I also had a feeling Dad might not know it was a lie.
    “Okay, whatever. Look, Dad, I’ll deal with it. We’re okay, but we really need to get back to work. Don’t let anyone in who isn’t really drop-dead handsome, okay?”
    Long pause. “I don’t really know what you or your mother consider handsome,” Dad shared, sounding embarrassed and a little grossed out.
    “Dad, if a woman or a man comes to the door who is less good-looking than Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie, do not open the door.”
    “Angelina Jolie might be by?” Dad suddenly sounded perky. Great, this was information I hadn’t wanted.
    “Not likely, but who knows? However, anyone not as good-looking as those two should not be allowed inside, got it?”
    “Sure. You sure you’re with Homeland Security and not some Hollywood producer?”
    I found myself wishing I’d gone with the Hollywood lie in the first place. Too late to use it now. “No, we’re not about to star in a major motion picture. Dad, just relax. I think you can stop calling every two hours, though.” Mom nodded emphatically. “Mom agrees,” I added.
    “I’m sure she does,” he huffed. “Well, I want regular reports from you two, then.”
    “Dad!”
    “Well, when you can. I’m on the edge of my seat here, wondering if my girls are safe or not.”
    He had a real point. “Okay, Dad, I promise one of us will call you the next break we get. We’re perfectly safe, though,” I lied.
    “Okay, kitten. Well, love to you and your mother. Tell her I’m not upset any more.”
    “Will do, Dad. Love you.” I hung up. “He’s not mad at you any more.”
    Mom snorted. “So he claims.”
    “I’d take it,” Martini suggested.
    “Right now, I just want to take a nap,” I said.
    “No sleep ’til Home Base,” Gower stated.
    “I’d rather go for no sleep ’til Brooklyn.” Everyone gave me a blank stare.
    Reader laughed. “Don’t think we have time to take in a Beastie Boys concert, girlfriend.” At least there was one person in the car who I could relate to. That I had the most in common with a former international male model was an irony I was too tired to marvel over.
    “Pity. I could use the rest. Yes, okay,” I said to Gower’s angry look, “no sleeping until we’re back. So, where are we going now?”
    “Safe transference point,” Martini answered.
    I thought about it. “Heading to LaGuardia are we?”
    He grinned. “I’d like a lot of kids,” he said to Mom. “But we’re still discussing it.”
    She sighed. “Ask her how often she has to get new fish before you make a final decision.”

CHAPTER 12
    THE TRIP TO LA GUARDIA WAS QUIET . And slow. We were stuck in rush hour traffic, which in New York is impressive.
    Everyone was tired, so we didn’t talk much. I was okay with that. It gave me more time