Trapped

exhausted, and he had found a tailor somewhere to fashion him a new set of clothes. Apparently Perun had given instructions that his abundant chest hair should be displayed to best advantage, for it was, bursting forth in coppery curls from a deeply cut V-neck tunic of walnut brown.
    » Contest is good, « he said. » I like to see. « He sauntered in my general direction, pulling out a flask of vodka from his belt as he did so.
    Flidais raised a hand. » A moment, if you will, Ogma? Our newest Druid is likely unfamiliar with how her weapon works. «
    » She is familiar, « he assured her. » She is quite skilled. « He smiled again, and Granuaile scowled. She wasn’t trying to flirt with him anymore.
    › He’s making it worse. ‹
    I know. It’s great .
    » You won’t give her any unfair advantage? « Ogma said. » My staff has no bindings. It’s just wood. «
    This drew a few chuckles, and Flidais elicited a few more when she said, » We know, Ogma. «
    Flidais reassured Ogma that Granuaile wouldn’t turn invisible or anything like that and it would just be a moment, and he relaxed.
    Seeing Flidais speak in hushed tones to Granuaile, however, I tensed up.
    Flidais was most definitely on Brighid’s side of politics. If anything, she was much more Brighid’s right hand than Ogma or anyone else. I could never forget that when Aenghus Óg was out to get me, it was Flidais who kidnapped Oberon to force me to confront the god of love directly. She had done so at Brighid’s command. She was also the one who had convinced me to accept the exploded Lord Grundlebeard theory.
    And, I realized with a chill, she might also be the one speaking to vampires.
    Two events, months apart, that I had not connected until now: Flidais leaping out of my bed, ready to fight because I » consorted « with a vampire named Leif Helgarson; and then Leif Helgarson, on a cold stretch of Siberian tundra, telling me that it was Flidais who had suggested to him centuries ago that he wait for me in some desert, and eventually I would flee there in my attempt to hide from Aenghus Óg and the Fae.
    One of them had lied to me about knowing the other. On the one hand, it was far more likely that Flidais would unbind a vampire on sight than give him advice on how to find the world’s last Druid, but, then again, if Flidais was truly on speaking terms with vampires, she might do much to hide the fact. She might even give my apprentice an enchanted weapon with bindings no one else could properly read.
    That made me wonder. What else was carved into the grain of Granuaile’s staff besides a spell for invisibility? Was there a way to trace her, perhaps? A dinner bell for vampires? I know it is rude to question gifts, but this might be of the Trojan horse variety. Even if it were legit, invisibility would not be the devastating advantage that it would be against humans. Vampires could use their other senses to track her movements reliably.
    Conspiracies are fun, I’ve noticed, only when you’re the one conspiring. Or if you’re one of those guys who live in trailers and believe the government is hiding aliens—they must have fun fantasizing about how badly the nation is being deceived. But to know, for certain, that you are the target of a conspiracy—that’s not entertaining. It’s a recipe for acid reflux.
    I need a TUMS .
    › That’s not how you spell relief, Atticus. ‹
    It was high time that I did some conspiring of my own. I called to Goibhniu and asked if we could have a quick word. The brewer grinned in good spirits and offered one of those greetings where you grip forearms instead of hands.
    » What’s on your mind, most ancient Druid? «
    » Can you make one of those cone-of-silence thingies so we can’t be overheard? « I asked. » I never quite learned that trick. «
    » Sure, « Goibhniu said. » You kind of have to learn it if you’re going to have a serious talk in Tír na nÓg. Faeries everywhere. « He mumbled a few words in Old Irish and rolled his eyes up and it was done. It was less graceful than the way Manannan had done it, and I didn’t quite catch all the words. » There, « he said. » I’ll teach it to you later if you like. «
    » Thanks. What’s the coin of the realm in Tír na nÓg these days? «
    » Gold and silver are still acceptable everywhere. «
    » Excellent. I was wondering if you had any pods of yewmen frequenting your pub? «
    » Yewmen? « Goibhniu’s affable expression disappeared. » Who