Tricked

on television. The list of side effects for some maladies often sounds worse than the condition they’re supposed to treat. Once I even heard » heart failure « listed as a side effect, and I wondered how that happened. Heart failure sounds like a pretty major event to me, and if you’re willing to risk heart failure in order to avoid the mild discomfort of some other condition, then may the gods shield you from harm, since you’re obviously seeking it out.
    I sought out a drugstore because most every medicine is actually a poison: The dosage is simply much lower. I prefer working directly from plants, of course, but scooping up a few bottles of pills will work when I’m in a hurry, and in this case I was in quite a hurry indeed.
    » Sensei, « Granuaile whispered to me on the way out of the Blue Coffee Pot to Albert’s truck. » I heard you say you don’t have a prescription for all these drugs you need, right? «
    » Right. «
    » That means you’re going to steal them, aren’t you? «
    » Yep. «
    She sighed in exasperation. » Things like that don’t matter to you, do they? «
    We paused to climb into the back of Albert’s truck. Frank rode shotgun and told him where to go. Once we were on our way, I picked up where we’d left off. » Not when people’s lives are at stake, no. I never steal for mere personal gain, if that makes a difference. Well, I take that back. There was that one time in Egypt. And a few years ago I stole some art and precious gems from a businessman in Hong Kong just so he would have a really bad day, and that gained me quite a bit of satisfaction. But I called the cops after a couple of days and told them where to find everything, along with a note telling him not to be such a vag badger. He got most of it back. «
    » What? Why didn’t he get all of it? «
    » The cops kept some and told him that was all they found. «
    » No! «
    » Yes. I had to steal the stuff again and give all the crooked cops wedgies. Look, if it makes you feel better, we can make a list of what I pull out of this place, look up the costs elsewhere, and then reimburse them with an anonymous envelope of cash later. «
    » That would make me feel better. «
    » Okay, that’s what we’ll do. «
    » Thank you. « She gave me a couple of patronizing pats on the shoulder. » You’re a very considerate sensei. «
    » I’ll say. I haven’t done half the things I’m supposed to yet. Usually there’s a ritualistic leeching after the second week, and here we are three months or so along. «
    She squinted at me doubtfully. » You’re kidding, right? «
    » Lucky for you there aren’t many leeches in this part of Arizona. «
    She cringed a little. » Seriously? «
    » But I suppose we can let that slide since I made you eat a steer sack. «
    » Shut up! « I shook with laughter and she scowled at me, folding her arms across her chest. » Auggh! You can be so immature sometimes! «
    At a quarter to nine we pulled up next to a drugstore to make sure we were out of range of any surveillance cameras, and I got out and walked around to the back. As I left them there, I heard Albert say, » I can’t believe I’m doing this. «
    Once out of sight of Frank and Albert, I cast camouflage on myself and concentrated on the door. Locks aren’t that difficult when you can bind the metal inside to the unlocked position. Security systems are another matter; I’m not sophisticated enough with electronics to tackle those, and much of it is dead plastic anyway. I would doubtless trip something as soon as I walked in, so it would have to be a dash to get everything I needed before the cops arrived.
    The first thing I did was grab a plastic bag, and then I went hunting among the shelves. I wasn’t familiar with brand names, so I had to scan active ingredients to find what I needed. I was trying to find the various chemical components of Atropa belladonna , the plant known commonly as deadly nightshade. Chew one leaf as an adult and you’re toast; the collected tropane alkaloids mess with your nervous system so that it can’t regulate involuntary activities like sweating, breathing, and heart rate. But isolate and regulate the dosage of those alkaloids, and you can turn an extremely deadly plant into a medicinal one. I found atropine, scopolamine, and hyoscyamine all sitting on the shelves under various brand names. According to the dosages, it looked like we’d have to hit another store to make enough poison for a