Trust Me

hire.” Desdemona slammed down the phone.
    Within seconds the instrument warbled like an irate bird. She picked up the receiver. “Right Touch Catering. May I help you?”
    “I am a computer security expert.” Stark sounded as though he were speaking between clenched teeth. “I don’t do the kind of thrilling hardboiled detective investigations that you read about in mystery novels.”
    “This is a computer security problem, isn’t it? You’re a computer security expert.”
    “The only kind of investigations I do are computer investigations.” Stark’s tone implied he was holding on to his temper through sheer will power. “I search computer files and follow computer trails through various kinds of networks and systems while seated at my desk. I do not interview suspects. I do not carry a gun in a shoulder holster. I do not conduct stakeouts.”
    “However you want to handle this is fine by me,” Desdemona said easily. “Look, you don’t tell me how to put on a buffet for two hundred, and I won’t tell you how to do your job.”
    “This is crazy. Speaking hypothetically, because that is the only way in which we can even discuss this situation, just what do you expect me to discover?”
    “I’m hiring you to find a suspect other than Tony who had both motive and opportunity to steal ARCANE. I want you to realize that my brother is not the only suspect or even a very likely suspect. I want you to stop focusing on Tony and look at the big picture.”
    “Damn it, Tony is the most likely suspect.”
    “You’re reacting emotionally, not logically, Stark.”
    “If you mean I’m getting more than a little annoyed, you’re right. I am not, however, being illogical. You’re the one who isn’t being logical.”
    “I don’t have any particular interest in logic, per se,” Desdemona said. “Granted, it works for some people, but we Wainwrights rely more on intuition.”
    “Then apply your intuitive powers to the problem of paying my fee,” Stark said in a thoroughly dangerous voice.
    “What’s that supposed to mean?”
    “It means,” Stark said very deliberately, “that you cannot afford me.”
    “Ah, now, that’s where you’re wrong,” Desdemona said. “I have something you want, and you have something I want, and we’re both business people. We should be able to negotiate a deal here.”
    There was a moment of acute silence. Stark’s next words were coated in ice. “What, exactly are you offering?”
    Desdemona tightened her grip on the phone. “In exchange for your services as a computer security investigator, I am willing to provide free catering to your company for one full year.”
    There was another long silence. “I see.”
    Desdemona scowled at the receiver in her hand. “What’s the matter? You sound weird,”
    “I thought you were going to offer something else.”
    “My lush, lovely, nubile body?”
    Stark cleared his throat. “That thought did cross my mind.”
    “Tacky, Stark, very, very tacky.”
    “Yes, I guess it was.”
    “Now, then, to get back to the terms of our deal.”
    “What deal?” he asked.
    “Pay attention, Stark. You will have the services of Right Touch without charge for twelve months. We’ll have to draw up a new contract, of course.”
    “Desdemona – “
    “Keep in mind that the only thing you’re getting for free is my services. You will still have to pay for the basic expenses: food, equipment, rentals, ice sculptures, that kind of thing. But I won’t charge you for the planning, preparation, and cleanup.”
    “You’re going to subtract your fee from the bills?”
    “Right.”
    “Tell me,” Stark said. “Do you have any idea of how little of my time you’re going to be able to purchase with this arrangement?”
    “I know you’re expensive.”
    “Very expensive.”
    “But I figure that a hotshot security specialist such as yourself should be able to crack this case in short order. I have great faith in your talents, Stark.”
    “Let us suppose, just for the sake of argument, that I do turn up another possible suspect. That doesn’t mean Tony isn’t guilty.”
    “No, but it means that you can’t dump all of your suspicions on him. You will be forced to acknowledge that there is a reasonable doubt. And,” Desdemona concluded, “you will be forced to apologize to me.”
    “For what?” Stark asked blankly.
    “For calling me a naive, gullible fool.”
    “Hell, if that’s what’s really bothering you, I’ll