Truth

honest with her. Although her eyes hadn’t registered any recollection in months and her mouth no longer spoke, there were times when holding her hand she’d momentarily squeeze theirs, in return. The physician explained this as mere muscle contractions. He reasoned emotional humans try to read meaning into scientific phenomenons, where in fact, there was none. Marie didn’t care about his explanation. She believed there were times, Sharron could hear, understand, and communicate any way possible.
    They’d discussed their speech many times. These discussions occurred alone in Marie’s suite --usually in her bed. If Sharron wouldn’t leave this world because of her bond to Nathaniel, he needed to tell her to go. Not as he would dismiss a servant or an employee, but with love and understanding. He needed to explain, he wanted her suffering to stop, and he would survive. He would live again. And this was the part they debated -- he was living again. Not only living, he was loving.
    They both hoped the knowledge of Nathaniel’s new life and new love would allow Sharron the peace to cross over. She could go where her body once again worked, where she could smile, sing and most importantly where pain, physical and emotional, ceased to exist.
    The opportunity came only two nights ago, sometime after midnight. They’d been sitting in the plush high backed chairs, talking about something from Nathaniel’s work when Marie noticed Sharron’s eyes flutter and her hands open and close. Silently, Marie approached the far side of Ms. Sharron’s bed; Nathaniel did the same on the near side. Without speaking, they created a circle. Marie remembered the warmth and strength coming from Nathaniel. It was such a stark contrast to the cool fragility of Sharron.
    It was one of those instances in your life where time ceases to exist. When Marie’s gaze went from Sharron’s uncharacteristically clear and knowing eyes, to the dark intense stare of Nathaniel, she felt her heart break and swell. Was that how it happened? Similar to a turtle’s shell, it shatters before it can grow. The pain that no medicine could treat produced tears which unapologetically streamed from Marie’s eyes. However, it wasn’t until she saw the same moisture escape from the dark eyes of the man she loved, that she felt the impending sobs within her chest, threatening the loving silence which filled the room.
    Marie knew it wasn’t her place to speak. Oh, she didn’t have a problem directing Nathaniel while alone, but this was his speech. He needed to proceed at his own pace. It may be the only time she ever heard his voice crack, but she did. It was a gift few others receive, a forbidden view into his heart and soul.
    “ Sharron, it’s all right. I want you to let me go.” He continually exhaled, at a seemingly disproportionate rate to the breaths he took in. Finally, he continued, “I love you. I will always love you. And I know you love me. But you need to move on, for you, for all of us. Samuel and Amanda will be all right. Anton will be fine,” more exhaling and inhaling, “and we will miss you, but we will survive.”
    Sharron squeezed both of the hands that held hers. Her eyes appeared to flit from one face to the other. Did she know? Was she giving her blessing? They’d never know for sure, but they could believe. Nathaniel’s voice gained strength, “I will never forget you, but I’ve found solace. Marie came into my life for you, but she’s helped me, too.” More breathing, “We’ve found comfort in one another.”
    When he fell silent, Marie spoke, “Ms. Sharron, I promise to take care of Nathaniel, as much as he will allow. He will not be alone.”
    Nathaniel’s eyes moved from his wife, to his companion, to her midsection. Marie looked away. Did he really want to reveal their secret? She couldn’t do it; again, it was his decision. “Sharron, this may shock you.” He grinned through the grief; Marie believed she heard a low laugh. “I know it did me. But dear, there’ll be another Rawls in the house. Our name will continue. We have a baby due the beginning of next year.”
    Did she understand? She squeezed both hands again. Her eyes seemed to register every word, and she blinked two times. The next breath she took was one of the deepest she’d taken in a while. One more squeeze of their hands, and she fell asleep. Sharron hasn’t awoken since.
    The sound of the French door opening behind her brought Marie back to