U Is for Undertow

week. We wanted Greg to focus on his classes so we told him we’d pick up the tab as long as he kept his grades up. So much for that. Two years of college and now he’s a dropout and a bum.”
    Annabelle said, “What are they living on? I hope you’re not giving them money along with everything else.”
    “Not so far, though I wouldn’t put it past Greg to expect financial support.”
    Deborah said, “Which they get in any event. They don’t pay rent and we’re providing food and all utilities. They don’t drive the bus because they can’t afford the gas.”
    “Dollars to doughnuts, he’s selling grass,” Kip said.
    Patrick looked at him. “You think? Well, that’s worrisome.”
    Deborah said, “They’re certainly smoking it. I can smell it halfway across the yard.”
    Annabelle made a face. “They smoke dope in front of the little boy?”
    “Why not? They do everything else in front of him,” Deborah said. “Shelly wants him in the delivery room with her so he can experience the miracle of childbirth.”
    “That’ll be a cheery scene.”
    “What if they’re busted selling pot?” Kip asked, harking back to his point.
    Deborah smacked at Kip’s hand. “Would you stop that?”
    “No, I’m serious,” he said. “Suppose the cops get wind of it? I’m just pointing out the kind of trouble you’d be in. For one thing, Child Protective Services would step in and yank that little kid right out of there.”
    “He’s not Greg’s. Shelly made that clear,” Patrick said.
    Deborah said, “None of this is his fault. He can be a pill, but it still breaks my heart watching the neglect. She has no concept of parenting.”
    “Isn’t he in school?” Annabelle asked.
    “She doesn’t believe in the public school system. She feels that’s just one more form of government propaganda so she’s teaching him herself.”
    Patrick said, “Jesus. We can’t keep talking about this. It’s ruining my appetite.”
    Annabelle held up her water glass. “Let’s look at the bright side. I propose a toast to the baby.”
    “Hear, hear,” Patrick said. The four clinked their glasses together.
    “May all your surprises be little ones,” Kip added.
    But the surprise was Shelly’s. The baby was born two weeks before her due date. Neither Greg nor Shelly told his parents she’d gone into labor. When her water broke, he took her to the emergency room at Santa Teresa Hospital and settled Shawn in the waiting room with a pad of paper and a box of crayons. Initially, there was some confusion because Shelly didn’t have an attending physician, medical records, or health insurance. The nurse asked Greg a series of questions, including his occupation, employer, and work address. Once she found out he was unemployed, she pressed him on the issue of who would be responsible for the hospital charges. Shelly was incensed and kicked up such a fuss that the nurse threatened to call security.
    The two were left alone in the patient bay with the curtain pulled around it for privacy. Greg didn’t see that they had any choice but to call his parents and ask for help. Shelly pitched the same fit she always pitched. Greg tuned her out. The hospital notified the obstetrician on call and he was there within the hour. There was a murmured conference at the nurses’ station before the doctor came into the cubicle. He introduced himself as Dr. Frantz. Greg was asked to wait in the hall while he did a pelvic exam.
    Greg went back to the waiting room to check on Shawn, who was watching television, an activity ordinarily forbidden. Greg returned to the admissions desk and asked to use the phone. He called his parents and told them what was going on. Patrick asked to speak to the admissions clerk and he apparently convinced her that all charges would be covered, saying he and his wife were on their way down. Greg returned to the curtained cubicle where he could hear Shelly shrieking at the doctor, telling him where he could stick his fucking finger in his fucking rubber glove. A nurse at the far end of the hall turned and gave him a look. Greg closed his eyes. He wished, just once, she’d act like a normal human being. Everything was a fight. Everything was a major uproar. He was exhausted by the strain of trying to soothe and contain her fury.
    The doctor pulled the curtain aside and asked Greg to come in. Shelly’s feet were out of the stirrups by then and she was sitting on the gurney with the sheet pulled around her and