Unseen Academicals

faintest idea why I’m talking to you. I’ve done my best. You now know more than any other crab.’
    She walked down to the very edge of what passed for water as the river flowed through the city, and dropped the crab into it. ‘Stay clear of crab pots and don’t come back.’ She turned round and realized the wizards had been watching her. ‘Well?’ she snapped. ‘Is there any law about talking to crabs around here?’ She then gave them a little smile as she walked past.
    Back in the long corridors she wandered, feeling a little light-headed, towards the vats. Some of its denizens eyed her nervously as she passed through, but there was no sign of Nutt, not that she was looking for him at all. As she walked on towards the Night Kitchen, Trev and Juliet appeared. Glenda couldn’t help but notice that Juliet had a somewhat bright-eyed and ruffled look. That is, she couldn’t help but notice because she made a point of noticing every time. Semi-parental responsibility was a terrible thing.
    ‘What are you still doing here?’ she said.
    They looked at her and there was more in their expressions than mere embarrassment.
    ‘I come back to say goodbye to the girls and I ’ad to wait for Trev because of the training.’
    Glenda sat down. ‘Make me a cup of tea, will you?’ And because old habits died hard she added, ‘Boil water in the kettle, two spoons of tea in the pot. Pour water from kettle into pot when it boils. Do not put tea in kettle.’ She turned to Trev. ‘Where’s Mister Nutt?’ she said, nonchalance booming in her voice.
    Trev looked down at his feet. ‘I don’t know, Glenda,’ he said. ‘I’ve been—’
    ‘Busy,’ Glenda completed.
    ‘But no hanky panky,’ said Juliet quickly.
    Glenda realized that right now she would not have minded if there had been hanky panky or even spanky. There were things that were important and things that weren’t, and times when you knew the difference.
    ‘So, how did Mister Nutt get on, then?’
    Trev and Juliet looked at one another. ‘We don’t know. He wasn’t there,’ said Trev.
    ‘We kind of thought ’e might be with you,’ said Juliet, handing her a cup of what you get when you ask for a cup of tea from someone who tends to confuse the recipe even at the best of times.
    ‘He wasn’t in the Great Hall?’ said Glenda.
    ‘No, ’e wasn’t there—Wait one moment.’ Trev ran down the steps and after a few seconds they heard his footsteps coming back. ‘His toolbox ’as gone,’ said Trev. ‘I mean, it wasn’t much. He made it outta bits he found in the cellars, but as far as I know it’s all ’e owned.’
    I knew it, thought Glenda. Of course I knew it. ‘Where could he be? He’s got nowhere else to go but here,’ she said.
    ‘Well, there is that place up in Uberwald he talks about quite a lot,’ said Trev.
    ‘That’s getting on for about a thousand miles away,’ said Glenda.
    ‘Well, I suppose he thinks he might as well be there as here,’ said Juliet innocently. ‘I mean, Orc, I’d want to run away from a name like that if I was me.’
    ‘Look, I’m sure he’s just wandered off somewhere in the building,’ Glenda said, believing absolutely that he hadn’t. But if I believe he’s going to be around the next corner or has just nipped off to…powder his nose, or has just wandered away for half an hour–which, of course, is his right; perhaps he needs to go and buy a pair of socks?–if I keep believing he’ll turn up any minute, he might, even though I know he won’t.
    She put down the cup. ‘Half an hour,’ she said. ‘Juliet, you go and check around the Great Hall. Trev, you go down the tunnels that way. I’ll go down the tunnels this way. If you find anyone you can trust, ask ’em.’
    A little more than half an hour later, Glenda was the last to turn up back in the Night Kitchen. She very nearly half expected that he would be there and knew that he wouldn’t. ‘Would he know about getting on a coach?’ she said.
    ‘I doubt ’e’s ever seen one,’ said Trev. ‘You know what I would do if I was ’im? I’d just run. It was like when Dad died, I spent all night walkin’ around the city. I wasn’t bothered where I went. Just went. Wanted to run away from bein’ me.’
    ‘How fast can an orc run?’ said Glenda.
    ‘Much faster than a man, I bet,’ said Trev. ‘An’ for a long time, too.’
    ‘Listen.’ This was Juliet. ‘Can’t you ’ear it?’
    ‘Hear what?’ said