Up Till Now: The Autobiography

first shot was scheduled for 4:30 A.M.—an hour before sunrise. At 4:30 we were standing on the road, waiting for the helicopter. And waiting. It was coming from about fifty miles away and it was late. And I began to wonder if we were waiting in the right place. And as people do in that situation I began to doubt myself: I think I’m the right place? But maybe it was around the bend? What did I tell him? The first glow of the sunrise appeared over the horizon. Shit, where’s that helicopter? I saw a bright light hovering in the distance. It was the helicopter and he was in the wrong place. Or we were in the wrong place. It didn’t matter who was right, the only thing that mattered was getting the shot. I shouted to my assistant, get him on the radio right now!
    She smiled. Radio? He doesn’t have a radio with him.
    I was thinking very quickly. How am I going to save the shot? Okay, I shouted to everyone, pack up and roll. Right now! We got into our cars and drove like maniacs on this unlit back road—only later did we learn that these were the roads used by drug smugglers and we were under constant observation—driving toward the helicopter. But as fast as we drove we didn’t seem to be getting any closer.
    I’m not quite certain when I realized we were chasing the North Star. That spot of light that I thought was the helicopter’s running lights was actually a very bright star. We could have driven forever and never gotten there—it was a thousand light-years away. I guess I wasn’t surprised that no one in the crew told the director that he was pursuing a star. Believe me, if I was acting in this film rather than paying for a lot of it, I would have been laughing at me. Turn around, I screamed, and we went racing back to our original site.
    Somehow we managed to get most of the shots we needed. This was the most memorable—and expensive—shoot of my career. We shot in Bisbee, Arizona, and stayed in a haunted hotel. It was while making this movie that Elizabeth and I went night riding with the Border Patrol and an illegal immigrant recognized Captain Kirk. From the beginning to the end of the production we had nothing but problems, many of which Elizabeth was able to solve. When Groom Lake was finished it had some nice moments, including several fine performances by some very good actors. But, honestly, it didn’t tie together smoothly. Again, it was my fault; I was just so blinded by my desire to make this film that I agreed to conditions that really made it impossible. No, we don’t need film, we’ll just take a lot of still pictures and string them together. It made a little money in rentals and plays occasionally on the Sci-Fi Channel, so with the tax write-offs I probably broke even on my investment.
    Actually, as a result of that film the Sci-Fi Channel asked me to come up with an original idea and direct a film for them. “Come up with an alien-of-the-week that we haven’t done,” an executive suggested. They had done three pterodactyls, four dinosaurs, and sevenFrankensteins. I presented several ideas to them but the one they sparked to was a great ball of intelligent fire from another solar system that survived by consuming planets. This Alien Fire had consumed Venus, it had consumed Mars, and it was on its way toward Earth!
    I was going to direct it during a hiatus period from Boston Legal . We had a budget of about $1.5 million. Unfortunately, the producers cut short the hiatus and I didn’t have the time to direct it. Actually, maybe it was good fortune. The making of Alien Fire did not go well. It rained. It rained all the time—and this is a story about fire. Alien Smoke just doesn’t sound as threatening as Alien Fire . Once again this film depended on the quality of the special effects, and with all the other problems during the production they had only two hundred thousand dollars left to produce all the special effects. Not enough, not nearly enough. How about Alien Embers ?
    It was during this period that I suddenly, and certainly unexpectedly to me, became more popular than ever before in my career. I became... ready for this... Shatman. After becoming Captain Kirk I received a lot of attention, particularly from Trekkies, but this was different. In public, people began expressing real affection toward me. They would often tell me how much they enjoyed my work and even thank me for entertaining them. I can’t begin to explain how gratifying that has been, nor can I explain