Violet Eden Chapters 04 - Endless

sparkling in the night-light. He was in black pants and a white shirt, rolled up at the sleeves. He looked the same but different … Something fundamental about him had changed. His eyes. Still chocolate brown and beautiful but no longer so deeply haunted.
    Phoenix was an angel.



CHAPTER FORTY
    ‘The windows of my soul I throw
    Wide open to the sun.’
    John Greenleaf Whittier
    M y legs wouldn’t stop shaking. I tried to takea step towards him but fell to my knees.
    I looked to the ground, waiting for the tears. But I couldn’t cry. Even in this most tremendous moment I was still numb. Still cold.
    ‘We were wrong. I see that now,’ Phoenix said, his voice heavy with regret.
    I knew what he meant, but I just couldn’t go there. I looked up at him, my eyes begging him to stop.
    ‘You’re …’
    ‘Angel once more,’ he said. He didn’t sound ecstatic about it.
    I half smiled. Still Phoenix. ‘Is this what you want?’
    ‘Better than eternity in the pits of Hell,’ he answered.
    ‘But?’
    He was silent. He glanced around as if only now noticing the darkness that surrounded us. When he looked back at me tenderly, so much more emotion showed on his face than ever before and … I understood.
    Hell is in the eye of the beholder.
    ‘I have no reason to beanywhere else, I suppose,’ but his words were edged with a longing that I could not ignore.
    His eyebrows furrowed and he took a tentative step towards me. ‘I’m so …’ He swallowed the words. ‘I know you were attacked when you were younger.’
    I froze. ‘How?’ I’d never willingly told anyone other than Lincoln.
    ‘I’m an angel. Knowing just comes with the territory.’ When I didn’t respond, he added quietly, ‘Why didn’t you ever tell me?’
    The memories washed through me – a wave that was now part of a much greater ocean of agony. ‘I didn’t see any point. It doesn’t define me.’
    ‘No, but I wish I’d known. I’d never have pushed the way I … It explains a lot.’
    I bit my lip, fighting to control my emotions. ‘I’m sorry, Phoenix, I …’
    ‘Don’t apologise. It’s me who loved you beyond reason,’ he said, shaking his head and I was sure his eyes were glistening in the starlight.
    I looked to the sky, noticing there was no moon, and that my angel maker had disappeared.
    ‘So you want to be here?’ I asked, still unsure.
    ‘I want to be where I am needed. For now, it is here but …’
    The strength of his gaze – full of promise – drew mine back to him.
    ‘If the day should come, for any reason, that you would prefer me … elsewhere, it will be so.’
    I shook myhead. ‘I shouldn’t have that kind of power, Phoenix. Those aren’t my choices. I don’t want them to be.’
    He nodded sadly. ‘Until I decide otherwise, then, I will be here. For you.’
    We were silent. Phoenix standing, me still kneeling.
    ‘I’m faster,’ I said.
    ‘Yes.’
    ‘I can’t feel things the way you can. At least, I don’t think I can, but …’
    ‘You can shut down your emotions.’
    I swallowed. ‘Yes.’
    He took a tentative step towards me. ‘Power takes many forms and mutates as it is passed on. It is the way of evolution. This is no different, but treat this power carefully. Emotion is raw. Meddling with it rarely works as we intend. Often by the time we see our error, it’s too late to turn back,’ his voice caught at the end.
    There was another stretch of silence.
    ‘It hurts too much,’ I finally confessed.
    ‘I know,’ he said. And he did.

    ‘You’ll need to empty yourself of everything. It’s not easy and the way you are at the moment – I don’t know this is the best time.’
    I took a few deep breaths and absorbed this information along with all that Phoenix had been explaining to me for the past … I wasn’t sure how long. Time moved differently here.
    ‘It’s now or never,’ I said, determinedly.
    He sighed,resigned. ‘Okay. When you go to them, they will all want you. You represent life and everything they long for. Whatever it was that led them to this place, to this in-between, they crave what you have. They will suffocate you with their desires. You won’t have long to find him.’
    I nodded, looking out into the infinity of the universe and the countless reflections, floating and diving through the air.
    ‘What do I do once I find him?’
    ‘Can you feel your power inside you?’ he asked.
    I pressed a hand over my abdomen. ‘Yes, it’s like a deep