Walking Disaster

and don’t say goodbye?
Why?
”
    “I’m sorry. I—”
    “You’re
sorry
? I’ve been going crazy! You don’t answer your phone, you sneak out and—wh-
why
? I thought we finally had everything figured
out!”
    “I just needed some time to think.”
    “About what?” I paused, afraid of how she might answer the question I was about to ask. “Did I . . . did I hurt you?”
    “No! It’s nothing like that! I’m really, really sorry. I’m sure America told you. I don’t do goodbyes.”
    “I need to see you,” I said, desperate.
    Abby sighed. “I have a lot to do today, Trav. I have to unpack and I have piles of laundry.”
    “You regret it.”
    “It’s not . . . that’s not what it is. We’re friends. That’s not going to change.”
    “
Friends?
Then what the fuck was last night?”
    I could hear her breath catch. “I know what you want. I just can’t do that right now.”
    “So you just need some time? You could have told me that. You didn’t have to run out on me.”
    “It just seemed like the easiest way.”
    “Easier for who?”
    “I couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking about what it would be like in the morning, loading Mare’s car . . . and I couldn’t do it, Trav.”
    “It’s bad enough that you aren’t going to be here anymore. You can’t just drop out of my life.”
    “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said, trying hard to sound casual. “I don’t want anything to be weird, okay? I just need to sort some stuff out. That’s
all.”
    “Okay,” I said. “I can do that.”
    The line went silent, and Shepley watched me, wary. “Travis . . . you just got the door hung. No more messes, okay?”
    My entire face crumpled, and I nodded my head. I tried to be angry, that was much easier to control than the overwhelming, physical pain in my chest, but all I felt was wave after wave of
sadness. I was too tired to fight it.
    “What did she say?”
    “She needs time.”
    “Okay. So, that’s not the end. You can work with that, right?”
    I took a deep breath. “Yeah. I can work with that.”
    The dustpan jingled with the shards of glass as Shepley walked with it down the hall. Left alone in the bedroom, surrounded by pictures of me and Abby, made me want to break something again, so
I went into the living room to wait for America.
    Thankfully, it didn’t take her long to return. I imagined that she was probably worried about Shepley.
    The door opened, and I stood. “Is she with you?”
    “No. She’s not.”
    “Did she say anything else?”
    America swallowed, hesitating to answer. “She said she’ll keep her promise, and that by this time tomorrow, you won’t miss her.”
    My eyes drifted to the floor. “She’s not coming back,” I said falling to the couch.
    America stepped forward. “What does that mean, Travis?”
    I cupped the top of my head with both hands. “What happened last night wasn’t her way of saying she wanted to be together. She was saying goodbye.”
    “You don’t know that.”
    “I know her.”
    “Abby cares about you.”
    “She doesn’t love me.”
    America took a breath, and any reservations she’d had about my temper vanished as a sympathetic expression softened her face. “You don’t know that, either. Listen, just give
her some space. Abby isn’t like the girls you’re used to, Trav. She gets freaked out easy. The last time someone mentioned getting serious she moved an entire state away. This
isn’t as bad as it seems.”
    I looked up at America, feeling the tiniest bit hopeful. “You don’t think so?”
    “Travis, she left because her feelings for you scare her. If you knew everything, it would be easier to explain, but I can’t tell you.”
    “Why not?”
    “Because I promised Abby, and she’s my best friend.”
    “Doesn’t she trust me?”
    “She doesn’t trust herself. You, however, need to trust
me
.” America grabbed my hands and pulled me to stand. “Go take a long, hot shower, and then we’re
going out to eat. Shepley told me it’s poker night at your dad’s.”
    I shook my head. “I can’t do poker night. They’ll ask about Pigeon. Maybe we could go see Pidge?”
    America blanched. “She won’t be home.”
    “You guys going out?”
    “She is.”
    “With who?” It only took me a few seconds to figure it out. “Parker.”
    America nodded.
    “That’s why she thinks I won’t miss her,” I said, my voice breaking. I couldn’t believe she was going to do that to me. It was just