Where Nerves End

really, if you think about it. When youre in that much pain, youll take any relief you can get, even if it just gives you that momentary illusion of relief.”
“That sounds about right,” I said. “Im just glad Im not crazy.”
“I didnt say that.”
We glanced at each other, and both laughed.
“Seriously, though,” I said. “Sometimes that seems like the lesser of two evils.”
“Better than taking drugs?”
I nodded. “You would not believe how many nights Ive stood in my kitchen having a staring contest with the bottle of painkillers. I really, really dont want to take them, and Im scared to death of getting hooked on them, but sometimes…”
“I can understand that.”
“You can?” I eyed him in the darkness. “I figured youd be vehemently opposed to any kind of drugs.”
“I am.” He glanced at me before turning his attention toward the mountains again. “Yes, my training tells me that kind of pain relief does more damage than good, but with the kind of pain youve been in for the last five years, I cant exactly begrudge you taking whatever relief you can find.”
“Good,” I said with a smirk, “because Id probably have to tell you to go fuck yourself if you did.”
He laughed. “Understood. But hopefully you wont need all that shit anymore soon anyway.”
“Heres hoping.”
We both fell silent for a few minutes before Michael said, “So how long have you lived here?”
“The house?” I asked. “Or Tucker Springs?”
“Both, now that you mention it.”
“Ive lived in Tucker Springs all my life,” I said. “Well, I was born in Montana, but my parents moved here when I was three, so Ive been here as long as I can remember. As for the house, Ive had it for a few years now. My ex and I bought it a little while after the economy went tits up. Got a great deal on it.” I sighed. “Only problem was, I went into it thinking thered be two people paying for it.”
“Best laid plans,” Michael said.
“Exactly.” I absently reached up to rub my shoulder, which hadnt started hurting yet, but the night was still young. “Even without Wes, I probably could have done fine on my own if not for the club. Whenever the business is in the red, the money has to come from somewhere. If I cant get a loan, it comes out of my profits. And if Im not profiting, well, it comes out of my pocket.”
“I know the feeling,” Michael muttered. “Every time I think Im getting ahead, something new comes up. If I can get out of my student loans, Ill be in better shape, but with minimum payments? Yeah, not happening any time soon.”
“God, no shit. I just paid mine off about two years ago. If I still had those, Id be royally fucked now.”
“Theyre good for that,” he said. “Fucking loans. So why havent you sold the house? Even if you take a hit and do a short sale, at least youd be out from under it.”
“I keep thinking it might be easier to sell it,” I said. “But, I dont know. I like the place. That, and Id have to force the sale without my exs signature, which means coming up with—on my own—enough to cover all the nickel and diming they do when youre trying to sell a house.”
“I can imagine.” He glanced at me. “How does that work, anyway? Splitting up with someone when youre not married, but own a house together?”
“How does it work?” I laughed dryly. “Its a pain in the ass, believe me.”
“Did you buy him out, or what?”
I shook my head. “Hed just as soon let the house go into foreclosure. He already let the bank repo his car, and his credits trashed, so he has no reason to tryto keep up with the mortgage.”
“Any way to get his name off it?”
“Besides forcing a sale?” I said. “If I can get his approval, I can refinance it, but I highly doubt the banks going to approve me for anything like that. Not without a co-signer whose credit is way better than mine.”
“Think hed sign off on it?”
“If I could get ahold of him, maybe.” I sighed, shaking my head. “But he wont return my calls, e-mails, any of that. Hes pretty much done with me.”
Michael was quiet for a long moment. “If you dont mind my asking,” he said softly, “what happened with you two?”
I didnt answer right away. My mind wandered back to the day Wes had called time on our relationship. Six months, and it still hurt. If he walked through my front door and asked me to take him back, Id show him right back out, but the way things ended still stung.
I took a breath. “Wes thought I was a