White Tiger

made of lead.
    ‘Go and rest, Emma.’ He turned away, then turned back. ‘Oh. Do not attempt Quiet Standing unsupervised, you could stay under for a long time. We need you.’
    ‘Yes, sir.’
    I dragged myself to my room and collapsed on the bed. I desperately needed a shower but I couldn’t move.
    We sat cross-legged together on the floor of the training room.
    ‘Visualise your chi, in your dan tian,’ he said, very softly. ‘Close your eyes, Simone.’
    My eyes were already closed as I concentrated on my chi.
    ‘Move it to your hands.’
    My hands tingled as the chi flowed through them. They felt very warm.
    ‘Less than that, Simone. Good.’
    I took a deep breath and let it out again.
    ‘Release it if you need to, Emma. Do you have it?’
    ‘I don’t need to release it. I have control.’
    ‘Good. Now move your chi above your hands.’
    I saw the light through my eyelids and snapped open my eyes. Simone had done it. She sat, wide-eyed, watching the little golden ball of chi floating above her outstretched hands. I could feel the warmth from it; it was shot with white fire, about the size of a tennis ball.
    ‘Do you have it?’ he said.
    She nodded. Her hair floated around her head with the static.
    ‘Can you hold it there?’ ‘It’s hard.’
    ‘Concentrate. Keep it there.’ ‘I think I have it,’ she said, straining. ‘Let it go. Gently, Simone, float it back into your hands.’
    Her eyes widened slightly and the chi dropped back into her outstretched palms and disappeared. She fell sideways and I caught her.
    Mr Chen scooped her out of my arms and clutched her in a huge hug, his face glowing with pride.
    He pulled back and smiled gently at her. She was pale and panting, but her eyes sparkled. He brushed her hair. ‘Are you okay?’
    She nodded. ‘I’m okay, Daddy.’
    ‘Good. Now listen carefully. Go into your room, recentre your chi, and then rest. Don’t try to do it again, you could hurt yourself. Do you understand, Simone? It’s very important. Go, recentre, rest.’
    She nodded, serious. ‘Don’t worry, Daddy, I’ll go and rest.’ She threw her little arms around his neck and giggled into his throat. ‘I’m so tired I need to be carried anyway!’
    He lifted her and pulled himself to his feet. ‘Stay here,’ he said to me, and carried her out.
    I remained cross-legged on the floor, furiously beating myself up. I’d failed miserably. I’d let Simone’s chi distract me. That shouldn’t have happened. I was tempted to try it again, but without his supervision I could easily kill myself. Not that I didn’t feel almost suicidal after wasting so many weeks of hard work.
    But at least Simone had done it. I felt a warm glow of pride for her.
    Mr Chen came back in and sat cross-legged in front of me. He pulled his long hair out of its tie, shook it, and put it back. He sighed and put his hands on his knees. ‘Now for you, Miss Donahoe.’
    I dropped my head. I didn’t know what to say.
    ‘Is the chi still there? In your hands?’
    I held my hands in front of me. ‘Yes.’
    ‘Good. Relax. Go deeper. Let’s try again.’
    I glanced up at him. ‘It won’t drain me too much?’
    ‘No. Close your eyes. Try.’
    I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and went down. ‘Deeper.’
    I dropped further. My hands weren’t attached to me any more. My legs were gone. I was a glowing point of light hovering between my eyes.
    ‘Are you still here, Emma?’ he whispered.
    I nodded.
    ‘Hold out your hands.’
    I didn’t try to move them. My unattached hands floated in front of me by themselves. They seemed a long way away.
    ‘Move the chi to your fingertips.’
    My fingertips glowed with the chi. The concentration of energy in such a small area made them almost painfully hot.
    ‘Now curl your fingers over your palms. Good. Float the chi from your fingertips into your palms. There.’
    I opened my eyes. My hands still didn’t feel attached to me. I’d generated slightly more than Simone; it was a little more than a tennis ball. I watched it float above my hands with awe.
    It was desperately difficult to keep it there. It felt as if a rubber band was trying to pull it back into me. I struggled to keep the chi outside my body.
    ‘How long do you think you could keep it there?’ he said, full of warm satisfaction.
    ‘I don’t know. Right now I have it, but I could lose it any time.’
    ‘Well done. Let’s see how long you can hold it; if you can hold it for a full minute