With Abandon: With or Without, Book 4

they wouldn’t have bothered getting married so they could both raise you.”
    But that didn’t sound right. Maybe his dad had wanted him but his mom didn’t. Guh. This sucked. His nose was all snotty, and now he was getting a headache. And he couldn’t do anything about the actual
    problem. Matt sniffed. “Why do I feel so betrayed? Why does it bother me? It shouldn’t.”
    “Ah, sugar, of course it should. As deeply as you care about people? You’re the most affectionate
    person I’ve ever met.” Aubrey smiled. It wasn’t just a normal smile. Or maybe it was, but the look in his eyes said a lot more than the smile. He cared. A lot. He liked that Matt was affectionate. He liked Matt.
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    With Abandon
    That gaze got through to Matt. It was like the rest of the garbage got pushed into the background.
    Aubrey’s heart beat strong and steady against his palm, grounding him a little more. The turmoil was still there, but now there was something else too. Matt snuffled. The tears had stopped flowing finally. Now if he could get the snot to quit running out his nose… The pain in his chest eased, enough so he could breathe again. He felt like an idiot for bursting into tears, but he was too enthralled with the glint in Aubrey’s eyes to be embarrassed.
    “It’s one of the things that makes you special.” That tender expression never left Aubrey’s face. He
    stared at Matt fondly.
    That look did funny things to Matt’s insides. His body got all tingly and hard again. Wait. Aubrey
    thought he was special? Matt clutched Aubrey’s face and mashed their lips together so hard and fast it
    surprised both of them. A gasp pushed out of Aubrey’s mouth into his.
    It was nice, freeing in a way. He really did love Aubrey. It seemed wrong, but the thought of his parents not being mates made his feelings for Aubrey clearer. His life with his parents was over. This one with his mate was just beginning.

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    Chapter Thirteen
    Matt stared into the mirror. He was going to have to leave the bathroom sooner or later to go get his
    tie tied, but he was nervous. He’d never been to a fancy party like this before. He wanted to go, was excited even, but there was still the fear of the unknown. The crowd at this party would be sophisticated and
    rich…glamorous. He was none of those things. What if he did something stupid, like trip—he was always
    tripping on stuff—and embarrassed Aubrey?
    “Sugar? You ready?”
    Glancing toward the bathroom door, he hesitated. He picked up his color identifier off the vanity and
    pointed it at his jacket.
    “Black,” came the disembodied mechanical voice.
    “Matt, you know you’re in all black and white, right?” Aubrey’s voice held a hint of amusement.
    Matt sighed, feeling silly for getting caught using his color identifier on a tuxedo. “Yeah, I know. I’m just playing.” It made him feel more secure. He hadn’t worn pink or lime green since he got the thing. He’d become dependent on it. And right now he needed all the surety he could get.
    “I promise it’s all black and white, sugar. Come on out here.”
    Resisting the urge to use the thing on his shirt, Matt set it on the vanity and gave it one last longing look. “Please don’t let me screw up tonight.”
    “What was that?”
    “Nothing.” Matt checked his appearance once more, smoothing down the jacket. There was no time
    like the present. He snatched up the bow tie and went into the bedroom. His stomach was queasy.
    Aubrey stood in front of their bed—when had he started to think of it as theirs?—watching the stock-
    market ticker scroll across the bottom of one of the news channels. He was watching the stocks because the volume was off. He did that occasionally, and it still baffled Matt. All those numbers and letters made no sense to him at all and after a while they all blurred together.
    “Are you—?” Aubrey turned and froze.
    Oh no. Matt’s stomach clenched, and his breath hitched. He looked down at himself, but didn’t see anything wrong. He hurried back to the bathroom to check the mirror. Nothing jumped out at him. He
    seemed okay. At least he thought he did. Frowning, he glanced over his shoulder at his back.
    “What are you doing?” Aubrey stepped into the bathroom and took the forgotten tie from Matt’s hand.
    He positioned himself behind Matt and began putting the tie on him.
    With Abandon
    “You looked at me funny. I was