A Beautiful Dark

just wish I knew what he was sorry about.
    I didn’t know what to say. It was hard to remain mad when what I really felt was confused.
    I pulled my hand away from his and walked into the hall. As I glanced back, I could see Asher standing there, just watching me.
    The remainder of the day was a meaningless haze of random equations, dates, and other things to memorize. I couldn’t stop thinking about what Asher knew—what he promised he would tell me. Part of me was nervous, but part of me, a small part, dared to hope that whatever it was did have something to do with my parents. That it would give me some clues about their life. The connection between the stories they used to tell me and his similar story at the campfire was too strong. I had to know, or I would drown in the not-knowing.
    At lunch, Cassie rattled on about the weekend.
    “You know Trey, from my band? He’s kind of a babe, isn’t he, Skye? I love that whole rumpled plaid thing. So hipster. Mmm.”
    “Trey?” Dan’s face scrunched up. “Now we’re on to Trey? Do you ever rest? What about the two brooding arsonists from Denver?”
    Cassie stole a French fry from his plate.
    “Devin and Asher? Old news,” she said as she dipped it in ketchup. “Besides, I heard Ellie has the market cornered as far as Asher is concerned.”
    My attention snapped to her.
    “What?”
    “I told you to act faster,” Cassie said matter-of-factly. “But I think you snoozed on this one. Ellie told some of the girls on the trip that she and Asher are together. I guess they hooked up a bunch of times or something.” She swallowed. “She says he’s a good kisser.”
    Intense heat radiated from my chest to my cheeks. I glanced over to the table where Asher usually sat surrounded by girls. Today the table was empty.
    I felt like an idiot. While I’d been brooding about my dead parents and stupid lullabies from my childhood that I barely remembered, Asher had been off hooking up with her. And I didn’t even know why I cared so much.
    Cassie glanced at Dan then back at me.
    “Sorry,” she said quietly. “I know you haven’t really liked someone since the whole thing with Jordan last year—”
    “I don’t like Asher,” I cut in. “And I’m over that whole Jordan thing.”
    “Skye.” She put her hand on my arm. “Yeah, okay. It was hard when he cheated on you with Megan Birch. It was an incredibly dick thing to do, and we all hated him for it. We still do. But you can’t blame Asher for this one. You walked away from him every chance you got. Not all guys are going to totally screw you the way Jordan did. Sometimes you have to risk a little bit of pride to fall in love.”
    “Cassie.” I sighed. “You’ve never been in love. How do you know what you’re talking about?”
    “I read it in Cosmo ,” she said. “When you like someone, you have to allow yourself to be vulnerable enough to let them in. Love is messy.” She bit into a carrot. “Like the Rebels in Asher’s story.”
    “Oh my god, stop, okay? I don’t like Asher!” My voice sounded hollow.
    “Devin then? I noticed him talking to you as he walked by in homeroom.”
    “Two words is not exactly talking .”
    “It’s gotta be one of them. You should have seen the relief on your face when they strolled in.”
    “I was just glad that whatever their emergency was—it was okay now.” I kept spinning the lies and my guilt increased with each one. I’d always been totally honest with Cassie.
    Dan mentioned something about her band, and thankfully the conversation veered away from me.
    As soon as the bell rang at three fifteen, I took the stairs two at a time to the roof. As I opened the fire door, the fear struck me that the roof might be empty. What would I do if Asher had been lying?
    But he was there when I pushed through the heavy metal door. Waiting for me.
    And so was Devin.

Chapter 16

    D evin stood with his back against the water tower, his lips drawn into a tight line, arms folded across his chest. There was nothing tranquil in his expression or stance. He was all hard lines and edges.
    Just a couple of feet away from him, Asher balanced on the edge of the roof, his arms spread wide. Just picturing him with Ellie after everything that had happened that weekend made my stomach churn.
    I hesitated before I spoke. I was going to be cool. Controlled. I was going to pretend that what they were about to tell me didn’t mean the world to me and maybe even more than