A Farewell to Yarns

told me. His sister had been to the last concert, and he remembered the details.”
    Shelley leaned back, nonplused. “But why pretend to be somebody like Albert Howard?“
    “I’ve been thinking about that. There was a story that the mob was after him for testifying against them. Mel told me that, too. I’d either forgotten that or never known it.“
    “That’s why they planted a bomb or whatever on the plane,“ Shelley said. “I read about it in a magazine.“
    “Well, if he’d missed the plane for some reason, it would have been logical to go along and play dead. It was the Only way to be safe from them in the future. If they’d known he’d lived, they’d have just kept after him until they succeeded.“
    “Oh, Jane. I don’t know—“
    “Shelley, if you’d heard him singing, you’d believe it. His voice is deeper now that he’s older, but I swear it’s the same man.“
    “But they don’t look a thing alike.
    “No, but neither does Sharon Kellick look like herself.“
    “Who in the hell—? Oh, yes. That woman down the block who had the face-lift, and somebody called the police on her for housebreaking in her own house.“
    “Remember that show we saw on PBS a year ago about the plastic surgeons who work on severely malformed children? They made perfectly grotesque faces look normal. Imagine how easily someone like that could make a handsome face look ordinary. Richie Divine could have paid for the best doctor and bound him to secrecy. Maybe there was even a federal witness program then.“
    “I don’t know, but they’re not authorized to blow up planes.“
    “I didn’t mean they did, but after it happened, he could have asked for help getting a good plastic surgeon.“
    “Okay, I’ll give you that. But what about his hair? It doesn’t look dyed, and I’ve never heard of a way to make your hair grow a different color.“
    “But it sure looked bleached when he was a star. Nobody who isn’t an albino has hair that’snaturally that blond. Maybe this is the color it was all along.”
    Shelley nibbled some cake thoughtfully. “Say, this is good. What about build? Albert Howard is sort of dumpy.“
    “Come on, Albert Howard is fifteen years older than Richie Divine was. Anybody can put on weight, even if age doesn’t do it for them. Especially if there’s an incentive like saving your own life. I could look like a blimp in a month without nearly as good a reason.”
    In spite of herself, Shelley was coming around to believing it. “Think about poor Fiona. All the horrible things the press said about her for marrying again so soon after Richie’s death. And she took it all in silence. Now we know why. She wasn’t marrying somebody else. She was remarrying Richie. She knows that, doesn’t she?“
    “She must. They married only a year or so after Richie ‘died.’ “
    They sat in silence for a long moment. Finally, Shelley said, “That’s why Albert doesn’t seem to mind that room you told me about. The shrine to Richie. It’s a shrine to him.“
    “Of course! I’d forgotten about that.“
    “Do you suppose anyone else knows?“
    “I’m sure they don’t. Unless maybe a plastic surgeon. It’s too big a secret to have been kept for so long by anybody but the two people most concerned with his safety. Albert and Fiona wouldn’t dare let anyone know for fear they’d tell. It’s like I said about The National Enquirer. You and I won’t say anything about it, but lots of people would.“
    “Oh, Jane. I’m almost sorry I know. It’s going to kill me to keep this to myself. Just imagine, we know Richie Divine. It’s like finding out your kid’s guitar teacher is Elvis, risen from the dead.“
    “Good comparison. I guess Richie could leave all the fame behind but couldn’t stay away from the music. That’s why he’s in the choir.“
    “That was taking a risk of discovery, wasn’t it?“
    “Not much. I don’t think he ever does solos. And even though I’m absolutely bereft of musical talent, I’ve got an unusually good ear for it. I don’t think many people could have made the connection. It’s not as if the choir is ever going to do ‘Red Christmas’ and feature him. A different kind of music entirely must have seemed safe. And it has been.“
    “It’s a shame we can’t ask Fiona about it. Find out how they carried it off. Why Richie wasn’t on that plane. How it feels to have a weird secret like this.“
    “I know. I’d love to talk to her