A Malazan Book of the Fallen Collection 3

must get that a lot. Sorry. Are you, perchance, Matron Delisp?'
    She spun about. 'Follow me. I hate this room.'
    He glanced about for the first time. Two paces wide, four deep, a door at the far end, the walls hidden behind lush tapestries depicting countless couplings of all sorts. 'Seems inviting enough,' he said, following the woman to the door.
    'It's the spent smell.'
    'Spent? Oh, yes.'
    'Smells of... regret. I hate that smell. I hate everything about it.' She opened the door and slipped through.
    Tehol and Bugg hastened to follow.
    The chamber beyond was dominated by a steep staircase, which began a single pace beyond the doorway. The woman led them round it to a plush waiting room, thick-padded sofas along the side walls, a single high-backed chair occupying the far wall. She walked directly to that chair and sat down. 'Sit. Now, what's all this about ghosts? Oh, never mind that. You were, what, ten years old when you fathered Shurq Elalle? No wonder she never mentioned you. Even when she was alive. Tell me, were you disappointed when she decided on a career of thievery?'
    'From your tone,' Tehol said, 'I gather you are challenging the veracity of my claims.'
    'Which question gave me away?'
    'But, you see, I am not so ignorant as you think. Hence my disguise.'
    She blinked. 'Your disguise is to appear as a man in his early thirties, wearing sodden, badly made wool—'
    Bugg sat straighter. 'Badly made? Now, hold on—'
    Tehol nudged his servant with an elbow, hard in the ribs. Bugg grunted, then subsided.
    'That is correct,' Tehol said.
    'A vast investment in sorcery, then. How old are you in truth?'
    'Sixty-nine ... my dear.'
    'I'm impressed. Now, you mentioned ghosts?'
    'Afraid so, Matron. Terrible ones. Vengeful, disinclined to discourse. Thus far I have managed to keep them penned up in the family crypt, but they'll get out sooner or later. And proceed on a rampage through the streets – a night of terror for all Letheras's citizens, I fear – until they arrive here. And then, well, I shudder at the thought.'
    'As I am shuddering right now, although for entirely different reasons. But yes, we certainly have a dilemma. My particular dilemma, however, is one I admit to having been struggling with for some time now.'
    'Oh?'
    'Fortunately, you appear to have provided me with a solution.'
    'I am pleased.'
    The woman leaned forward. 'Top floor – there's only one room. Talk that damned demoness out of here! Before my other lasses flay me alive!'
    The stairs were steep but well padded, the wooden railing beneath their hands an unbroken undulation of lovingly carved breasts polished and oiled by countless sweaty palms. They met no-one on the way and reached the top floor breathless – due to the ascent, of course, Tehol told himself as he paused at the door and wiped his hands on his soaked leggings.
    Head lowered and panting, Bugg was at his side. 'Errant take me, what have they rubbed into that wood?'
    'I'm not sure,' Tehol admitted, 'but I can barely walk.'
    'Perhaps we should take a moment,' Bugg suggested, wiping the sweat from his face.
    'Good idea. Let's.'
    A short time later Tehol straightened, with a wince, and nodded at Bugg, who grimaced in reply. Tehol raised a hand and thumped on the heavy wooden door.
    'Enter,' came the muffled command.
    Tehol opened the door and stepped into the room. Behind him, Bugg hissed, 'Errant take me, look at all the breasts!'
    The wall panels and ceiling continued the theme begun on the wooden railing, a riotous proliferation of mammary excess. Even the floor beneath the thick rugs was lumpy.
    'A singular obsession—' Tehol began, and was interrupted.
    'Oh,' said a voice from the huge bed before them, 'it's you.'
    Tehol cleared his throat. 'Shurq Elalle.'
    'If you've come for services,' she said, 'you might be relieved to know the executioner's big axe was pathetic compensation.'
    'He got wet in the rain,' Bugg said.
    Tehol glanced back at him. 'What is the relevance of that?'
    'I don't know, but I thought you might.'
    'I'm not leaving,' Shurq said, 'if that's why you're here.'
    'You have to,' Tehol countered. 'The Matron insists.'
    She sat straighter in the bed. 'It's those damned cows downstairs, isn't it? I've stolen all their clients and they want me out!'
    'I imagine so.' Tehol shrugged. 'But that's hardly surprising, is it? Listen, Shurq, we had a deal, didn't we?'
    Her expression darkened. 'So I should do the honourable thing? All right, but I have a problem