A Man Named Dave

scaring him. But now, after I had appeared on numerous television talk shows, with two books about my life on international best-seller lists, it was impossible to shield my past from him. “You know, Stephen, I never thought of it as being hard. It was just something I had to get through, that’s all.”
    “But were you scared?” he probed.
    Addressing the very topic I had fought so hard to protect him from, I said, “Sometimes, yeah. But … aren’t you scared sometimes when you’re in the batter’s box … when you’re facing a pitcher?”
    His eyes lit up. “Oh yeah; I mean, sometimes.”
    “Well,” I asked, “what do you do?”
    “You know.” Stephen shrugged.
    “No, I don’t,” I claimed. “I never really played baseball. I never experienced what it’s like to stare down a pitcher and have a ball coming at you in the blink of an eye. To tell you the truth, I don’t see how you do it.”
    Shaking his head, Stephen said, “It ain’t much. Just practice, that’s all. I’ve been doing it all my life. You just do it; that’s all there is to it.”
    “Even when you’re behind on the count, with two strikes against you, and you can feel all the pressure, don’t you ever thinking about quitting?” I inquired.
    “No,” Stephen stated, “I just do what I have to do.”
    “And that’s all I did as a kid, Stephen. I dug in and made the best of things. Just like you and I did at the cabin when we didn’t have enough wood to heat the house. You adjust, that’s all.”
    “But your dad, didn’t he know?”
    “Yes and no. I think he didn’t realize or want to understand what was going on, and by the time he did … it was too late. You see, my dad, like my mom, was an alcoholic. Back then things were very different. A lot of things happened, but they were kept in the closet. A secret, like cancer, AIDS, equal rights, and lots of other things were not supposed to be discussed, either out of embarrassment, shame, or whatever the reason. Hopefully, as a society, things are better now. We can openly talk about things that we would never speak of when I was your age. In fact, did you know,” I asked, taking Stephen away from our subject matter, “the one thing you never said to a parent?”
    His eyes grew wide. “What?”
    “ No. You never said the word no. As a kid, when a parent said, ‘Jump,’ you asked, ‘How high?’”
    “That’s kinda stupid. I say no all the time. I wouldn’t let anyone treat me like that.”
    “Yes.” I raised my finger. “Because of the changes within society. Things … things were very different back then.”
    Stopping in front of me, Stephen asked, “Do you forgive her? I mean, your mom?”
    Kneeling down, I held him by his shoulders. “Absolutely. Somehow, some way, something made my mom the way she was. Back then, when she was raised, she was not allowed to talk about things that might appear to be negative. I don’t think she had anyone to turn to, to really help her deal with whatever it was that troubled her. From what I know, I don’t believe anyone wakes up one day and wants to be bad, hurt others, or get high on drugs, but something leads them to that decision because of something they haven’t dealt with. In a weird sense, as much as my mom did to me, I learned from her what not to do.” Stephen nodded that he understood. “That’s why I’m always on you for facing things as they come up. If you learn anything from my past, it’s to hate no one. If you do, you’ll become that person who did you wrong. As you grow older, you’re going to face a lot of issues. If you have a problem, don’t go to bed upset; talk to your mom, call me in the middle of the night, whatever. It’s important because if you let things build up inside you, whatever the situation is, little by little it will eat away at you, like it did my mom. And that would be a waste, especially for all that you have going for yourself. Hate no one!”
    “Did your dad and you ever spend time together?”
    “Not a lot of time. But like I said, things were different back then. I’m sure part of him wanted to, but I don’t know…” My voice trailed off as I thought about Father and me.
    “Did you two have a special time together?” Stephen asked, tilting his head.
    Realizing where I was at that moment, I slowly turned Stephen to the right. “Well, as a matter of fact…” I choked for a split second, “I was maybe a little younger than you when one evening, on a night just like this, my dad was out for his evening smoke and I followed his footsteps to this exact