Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

off “overeager supporters.” It was a plausible explanation. Abe had become quite famous, and the Lincolns’ home was beset by well-wishers and favor seekers at all hours. But vampire bodyguards were only one of the secrets “Honest Old Abe” kept from his wife and adoring public that summer.
He’d also scraped the rust off his ax.
And for the first time, his target was a living man.
Abraham,
I must ask one more errand of you. He is one of your kind—but is looked after by two of mine at all times. Take every caution.
Abe nearly gasped when he saw the name below…
Jefferson Davis.
There was hardly a more accomplished Southern politician in America. Davis had graduated from West Point, fought valiantly in the Mexican-American War, served as governor of Mississippi, served in Franklin Pierce’s cabinet, and been twice elected to the Senate. He was an outspoken proslavery advocate, and, as a former Secretary of War, the man best suited to lead the South against the better-armed, more populous North.
This time, Abe refused to go.
Henry,
I am an old man with three sons and a wife who has wept over too many graves already. I will cause her no further grief by getting myself killed. Surely there are a hundred, or a thousand among your kind better suited to the task. Why must you prevail upon me when I am years removed from my best?
Send someone else.
Yours,
—Abraham
Henry’s reply came by express a mere four days after Abe sent his refusal off to New York.
Abraham,
It is a difficult thing to know the future. We see it reflected as in ripples of water—distorted and ever moving. There are moments, however, when the ripples subside and the reflection becomes clear. The Union saw one of those moments in your future that night in New York: you are destined to defeat Jefferson Davis, Abraham. You alone. Further, I do not believe that it is your destiny to die on this errand. I feel this with my whole self. I would not send you otherwise. It must be you, Abraham. I beg you reconsider.
Ever,
—H
Abe was fifty-two years old. And while he remained remarkably agile for his age, he was a far cry from the young hunter who could split a log from fifty yards. He needed backup.
I have sent word to Speed to meet me in Springfield at once, and—after a great deal of consideration—I have brought Lamon to the truth, as well. He thought me either “round the bend or a damned, lying fool” when first I revealed the story of vampires and their evil designs on man, and very nearly lost his temper—until I prevailed upon one of the trinity to confirm my story—which he did in dramatic fashion. There are few men who can be trusted in this war, and though [Lamon] and I disagree on a great many things (slavery being not the least of them), he has proven himself a loyal friend. With Jack gone, enlisting a man of his size seems prudent—particularly when Speed is so slight, and I am getting on in years.
My God… I feel rather like [King] Henry at Harfleur. *
In July, the three hunters traveled by train to Bolivar County, Mississippi, where, Abe had been told, Jefferson Davis was recovering after undergoing eye surgery. Concealed in their luggage was a traveling armory of revolvers, knives, crossbows, and Abe’s ax—newly sharpened, glistening once again. Candidate Lincoln had spent days secretly whittling new stakes for his quiver and fashioning a new chest plate to wear beneath his coat. He’d retreated to the woods with his ax and practiced throwing it into tree trunks ten, then twenty yards distant. He’d even dusted off his old martyr recipe and prepared a new batch.
I insisted that the trinity remain in Springfield to look after my family. It was a simple errand, I told them. Our target was merely a living man, after all—one rendered infirm and half-blind by surgery. Speed, Lamon, and I were more than capable of dispensing with Davis and his vampire minders.
The hunters tied up their horses on the edge of Davis’s property just after one o’clock in the morning on Monday, July 30th. They kept their distance from the main house, lying in the surrounding woods for a watchful half hour, whispering occasionally, waiting in the faint light of a cloud-covered moon.
Abe had received a second letter from Henry before they’d departed Springfield, a letter bearing new intelligence. The Union’s spies had learned that Davis was confined to a bedroom on the west side of the second floor. Intent on giving him peace while he