After the Fall

still didn’t move. Then he inched closer, draping his arm over me. “The second you’re even a little uncomfortable, you’ll say so?”
    “Absolutely.”
    Another moment of hesitation, but then he moved over me, and I nudged his hand away so I could wrap my fingers around both our cocks.
    “Oh, fuck,” he groaned as I started stroking us both.
    “Like that?”
    He just whimpered softly and came down to kiss me. I stroked faster. His hips started moving, and we both moaned as he thrust into my fist and against my cock, the friction intense to the point of almost painful, and white light crept into my peripheral vision.
    “Oh, God,” he breathed. “Oh . . . God . . .” His forehead touched mine, his skin hot and damp, and he was shaking now, tense, thrusting erratically and panting. I’d never seen anything more arousing than Ryan falling apart, and when his orgasm crashed through him, drawing a helpless cry from his lips as his slick semen coated my hand and my own cock, I came too, shaking beneath him and stroking us both until I couldn’t handle another second.
    We both shuddered once more and were still. He didn’t lift off me. I didn’t let go. Our lips brushed in between rapid, uneven breaths, but we couldn’t quite kiss, couldn’t quite remember how.
    Eventually, Ryan got up. He brought me a towel, and we cleaned ourselves up. Neither of us said anything. There wasn’t much that could be said right then without ruining this lovely postorgasmic lethargy, and instead of talking, we wrapped up in each other underneath the thin sheet.
    Before long, Ryan had dozed off.
    Lying beside him, listening to him sleep, I didn’t regret the fact that we hadn’t gone any further tonight. I’d have been too scared, too nervous, if I’d forced aside my fears and let him fuck me. Now, though, just knowing he was willing to back off and wait months to try again had settled something in me. He was forceful when the moment called for it but not when I wanted to stop. Not even a little bit.
    I stroked his hair and closed my eyes.
    We would. Not tonight. Maybe not tomorrow night.
    But we would.

The next night, Brad was out for the evening, and he probably wouldn’t be back until late. Assuming, of course, that things with Jeff didn’t end in disaster. I had my fingers crossed for their benefit—they both deserved to be happy, with or without each other—but there was a little selfishness involved this time too. I needed the apartment to myself, if only for this one night.
    As always, Ryan was right on time. I’d left the door unlocked for him, so he let himself in as I carefully got up off the couch.
    “Ready to go?” he asked.
    “Actually,” I said with a nervous grin, “I was thinking we could stay in.”
    “Oh.” He regarded me uncertainly for a moment. “What did you have in mind?”
    “I was hoping we could, uh, we could pick up where we left off last night.” Just saying the words ramped up my heartbeat, both from nerves and excitement.
    He held my gaze. “But I thought . . .”
    “I know.” I clumsily narrowed some of the distance between us. “I’ve been thinking about last night all damned day, though. And I . . . I want to.”
    He held my gaze. “You were pretty freaked out last night. I don’t want to put you through that again.”
    “You won’t. I’m, uh, I’m not big on being confined. I should’ve known that might happen and not been quite so blindsided when it did. But now that I’ve had a chance to work through it in my head, I think I’m okay.”
    He tilted his head slightly. “You think you’re okay?”
    I nodded. “And just like last night, if I’m not okay, we can stop, right?”
    “Of course,” he said without a second’s hesitation.
    I smiled. “That’s all I need to know.” I came closer. “Stay with me.”
    Ryan gulped. “You’re sure?”
    “Are you?”
    “If . . . if you are, yeah. Of course.” He put his hands on my waist. “I was serious when I said we could wait until your casts came off.”
    “I know.” I pulled him a little closer. “That’s why I don’t want to wait.” I kissed him, and after a second’s hesitation, he returned my kiss and wrapped his arms around me.
    “I have condoms,” I said. “And lube. And I want to use them tonight. With you.”
    “But you’re—”
    “I trust you. After last night, I feel safe with you.”
    “You are safe with me, Nathan.” He cradled my face in both hands and kissed me gently.