After the Fall

This was it. We were doing this.
    A cold prickle worked its way up my spine. All the fear I’d pushed aside earlier came back. My whole body tensed. Couldn’t move.
    “You okay?” he asked.
    I took and released a deep breath, willing myself to relax. I was safe. I knew I was. If I wanted to stop, Ryan would. I didn’t have the faintest doubt that he’d stop again at the first sign of trouble. But the weight of the plaster was still there, reminding me of my immobility.
    Ryan started to draw away. “Nathan?”
    “I’m good.” I reached back and grabbed his leg. “Please. I want this.”
    “Me, too. But . . . I don’t . . .”
    “I’m okay.” I kneaded his leg and pressed back against him as much as I could. “Ryan. Please.”
    He hesitated, but then relaxed. “Remember, all you have to do is say the word if you want to stop.”
    I nodded.
    The slick presence of his cock made my breath catch. Not nerves now—not much—just anticipation. Pure need. And a few nerves. I could do this. I wanted this.
    Ryan kissed beneath my ear. “If it helps, I’m nervous too.” He exhaled hard as he guided his cock into place. “Never done this before.”
    I had to admit, his nerves settled mine a bit. “Never tried this position? You’ve been missing out.”
    “It’s not that.” He pressed harder against my ass, the slightest bit of pressure away from being inside me. “I’ve never done this. At all.”
    I didn’t have time to put the pieces together before he applied that slightest bit of pressure, and the head of his cock slid into me, and my vision blurred.
    “Oh God,” he whispered, his ragged breath warm against my neck. He withdrew a little, then started to push in again.
    “You’re . . .” I licked my lips. “Y-you’re . . . a virgin?”
    A rush of laughter brushed my ear. “Not anymore.”
    Disbelief and arousal conspired to keep me silent as he pushed farther inside me. His cock felt so damned good, and it was just the right size, and I leaned back against him to drive him a little deeper. He found a slow, steady rhythm, and then he was all the way in, and his strokes turned to hard thrusts, and—
    “F-fuck . . .” He shuddered. His body tensed against mine, and he forced himself all the way in and stopped. When he shuddered again, his tremors and his release reverberated through me, through my entire body.
    I exhaled and slowly relaxed my grasp on the handful of sheets I hadn’t realized I’d grabbed. It had been quick, almost too quick, but maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing. I hadn’t had a chance to panic about my immobility, hadn’t had an opportunity to freak out.
    “Fuck,” he said, panting as he withdrew. “Sorry, I didn’t think it would be so fast.”
    “It’s all right.” I turned my head and reached back to draw him to me. “Nothing to be sorry for at all.”
    “But that—”
    I cut him off with a light kiss. “It was perfect.”
    He eyed me skeptically but didn’t argue. “I should, um, get rid of this.”
    I nodded. He got up to take care of the condom, and then slid back into bed, facing me, and pulled the sheet up over us.
    “You okay?” he asked. “With your leg, I mean?”
    I nodded. “Yeah. I’m fine.” I ran my fingers down the side of his face. “So this really was your first time?”
    His cheeks colored, and he laughed. “You couldn’t tell?”
    “You sure seemed to know what you were doing.”
    Ryan laughed again, softer this time. “Didn’t seem too complicated. Just didn’t . . . last.”
    I lifted my head and kissed him lightly. “The next time will.”
    He smiled and returned my kiss. “I’m looking forward to it.”
    When he pulled back this time, I asked, “Out of curiosity, how much have you done?”
    He shrugged. “Oh, I’ve fooled around a little.”
    “Ever sucked a cock? Before last night, I mean?”
    More color in his cheeks, but to my surprise, he nodded. “Yeah, I have.”
    I grinned and trailed the backs of my fingers down his arm, over his tattoo. “Some guys think that’s where the virginity line is drawn for us. Since not all gay men fuck.”
    “Either way, this was something new for me.”
    I stroked his face. “Why didn’t you tell me before? I had no idea.”
    He smiled shyly. “You think it’s easy admitting that when you’re twenty-five?”
    “Okay, maybe not. But if I’d known . . .”
    “You wouldn’t have been disappointed?”
    “Oh stop. I wasn’t disappointed.” I broke eye