Alien in the Family

My grandmothers looked as if they were going to cry.
    Okay, great. What about the male opinion? Looked over to Chuckie and Reader. Chuckie was sitting up like he’d been goosed, his eyes were wide, and he looked shocked and wistful at the same time.
    Looked at Reader. Got the usual frowny-face of concentration and the finger twirl. Twirled. Reader indicated I should twirl again. “On your toes.”
    “Yes, sir.” Twirled again on my toes. Once more for good measure. “Getting dizzy, James.”
    He grinned. “I knew Paula wouldn’t let me down.”
    “Paula?”
    “Paula Varsalona. Great designer. Great lady, too, love her.” He waved his hand in front of Chuckie’s face.
    “Uh-huh.” Chuckie was still staring at me.
    “Perfect! That’s the reaction we’re looking for. Get out of that one carefully, please. I’ll bag it and move it as soon as you’re dressed.”
    “Um, does that mean I can sit down and have something to drink?”
    “Yes. For a few minutes.”
    “Thank you, Sergeant Reader. Thanks for starting me on the exact opposite end than this dress was, too.”
    Got the cover-boy grin flashed at me. “You deserved to have the full experience. Just did it in a short amount of time. Thank me later.” He turned to the other girls. “Okay, we’re going to stick with the same designer for you. So, everyone but Lorraine I want changing into one of these other dresses. Should have all your sizes in here.” He pulled a rack over and looked at me. “Go on, out of the dress.”
    I rolled my eyes and went back into the bedroom. “Well?” Mom asked. “What did Charles and James think?”
    “This is the dress.”
    Mom and Lucinda high-fived each other. They got me out of the dress and hung it carefully while I put my clothes back on. Grabbed my purse—the Poofs were snoozing. They seemed to do that a lot. Lucky things. Then the three of us went out of the room.
    “Now what?” I asked Reader.
    “Sit.” He put me in a chair next to Chuckie, who still seemed dazed.
    “Dude, you okay?”
    “Yeah.” Chuckie shook himself. “That’s a great dress. Have I mentioned that Martini’s a total womanizer, has a major gambling habit, and secretly hates dogs and cats? And children, he hates children.”
    I laughed. “No, you actually said he was a great guy who didn’t have a roving eye and was focused solely on my happiness.”
    “Did I? Man, am I a moron.”
    “Nah, but I love you for the honesty.” I patted his hand.
    “Yeah, great. Lucky bastard.”
    The girls were out and dressed now. Reader had them all in the same thing. “James, the dresses are all black.” Well, with a white flower at the hip. But still, black. Gorgeous, but black.
    “Yes, your wedding colors are black and white.” He looked at them with a critical eye and made the twirly-sign.
    “James, I thought we were tired of black and white.”
    “We are. Your groom, however, is not. He loves black and white. Several of your bridesmaids love black and white. And half of your guests think black and white is da bomb in terms of color choices. We’re on a limb by not going with Armani in the first place. Let’s not push the luck.”
    “I was thinking blue.”
    “Yes, I know.” He looked pained.
    “I had a really pretty blue all picked out.”
    “Yes, I know. It was a great color and honestly would look wonderful.”
    “Then why not?”
    “I refer you back to argument number one. Girls, really, how hard is it to remember to twirl? You’re not even drinking alcohol.”
    They all sighed and twirled, and I looked closely at the dresses. Full-length satin, sleeveless with a plunging neckline, plunging back, gathered midriff from just under the breasts to the top of the hips, A-line skirt that went out pretty wide. Excellent for hiding tails and such.
    “I like it. Not wild about the flower.”
    “Of course. Don’t care; it makes the dress more dramatic. But have to be sure it’s the right choice.” Reader had the frowny-face on again. “Girls, go back, walk out one by one, twirl, go back.”
    They all sighed but did what he asked. While we watched the impromptu catwalk, I polled my mother, Lucinda, and my grandmothers. “So, what do you guys think?”
    Nana Sadie was watching intently. “I don’t want them to look better than you.”
    “Not my fault they’re all gorgeous.”
    Nona Maria sighed. “True. But you were perfect in the dress. James is so good with fashion.”
    “That’s why he’s my partner,