Alien in the Family

what the former top international male model said. I chose to go for the smarter option. “Fine. I’ll pretend I don’t feel eyes on me.”
    “That’s my girl.”
    We went in, and Reader checked me into the spa but had me stay in the waiting room. Two burly men came in with a couple, both dressed in business suits, the man in brown, the woman in red. Clearly, they were humans. They gave Reader wide smiles.
    The burly men were carrying large cases wrapped in velvet. The couple gave Reader air kisses. I tried not to gag. The burlies opened the cases up—and I was treated to an amazing array of men’s wedding rings.
    “James? I have no idea of Jeff’s ring size.” Wow, I sucked as a fiancée, big time.
    He sighed. “I know. I, however, do. All the rings here are sized for Jeff. Pick one.”
    “Mademoiselle is assured of quality,” the man said, in a fake French accent, oozing attempted charm.
    “These have diamonds in them,” the woman said, pointing to the rings that obviously had diamonds in them. “Perhaps mademoiselle would like to consider some of these for her lucky husband-to-be?”
    “Mademoiselle has an uncle who’s a jeweler. Please stop with the unctuous charm. I don’t need a sales pitch, I need help.”
    “I did warn you,” Reader said.
    “Fine, you never know who’s listening,” the man said, sounding a lot more like he was from the Bronx than from France. “Look, honey, it’s a symbol. Sure, he’ll wear it every day for the rest of his life, or until you get divorced, but they’re all good.”
    “His family mates for life.”
    The woman snorted. “Yeah, heard that before.”
    “James? Who are these people?”
    “Among the best jewelers in Vegas.”
    “And his cousins,” the woman said. “He visits when his friends are doing it up right, but during other times? Not so much.”
    I looked at Reader. He shrugged. “Family. You know.”
    “Yeah.” ’Nuff said, really.
    I started looking in earnest for the right ring. This was, of course, easier said than done. There were at least two hundred to choose from. My eyes started to cross. “Um . . .”
    Reader sighed. “Cut down to the twenty I selected.” I opened my mouth; he gave me the hairy eyeball. “The ones closest to her wedding set.” I closed my mouth.
    “I’d still like a look,” the man said. I put my hand out before Reader could glare at me, and he slid the ring off and examined it. He whistled. “Know where he bought this. You’re marrying well. Finest quality diamond. Small though.”
    “She has small hands,” the woman said. “Looks better on her.” I decided she might have taste.
    “Yeah! It’s like almost no one gets that.”
    She grinned. “If you weren’t with family? I’d be discussing how we needed to trade you up, pronto, to a diamond of decent size. Since you are with family, I agree that anything too large on a smaller woman looks fake. Stick to your guns.”
    They both examined my engagement ring, then produced Reader’s much smaller selection.
    Now that I finally had time to examine it, my ring had an unusual and intricate design, and I realized it looked a very little bit like the design of the Unity Necklace. All I wanted to do was find Martini, cuddle up in his lap, and tell him how he was the most romantic man in the galaxy, and I knew I was the luckiest girl in the universe.
    Not an option, so I looked carefully for a ring that might somehow manage to say the same thing to him every day. I was able to discard some right away because the designs were Celtic and while beautiful and intricate, they were too human.
    I was down to ten and had to decide if I wanted a diamond or not. What word had Chuckie used . . . unostentatious. “James, are diamonds in a man’s ring ostentatious?”
    “Depends on the ring. If you’re asking me if I think Jeff will like a diamond in his ring, yes, if you give it to him, because it’s you giving it to him, but if he had a choice, no.” He checked his cell phone, sighed, and pointed to two rings. “This one or that one. Take your pick; they’re both ‘him.’ ”
    “I had two hundred and you just cut me down to two? Am I off the schedule?”
    “Yes, by a lot. Girlfriend, this is why you two couldn’t settle on anything.”
    “Jeff’s picky, too.”
    “Yes. The prosecution rests.”
    I examined the two rings. They were both very unusual in their design. One was thicker than the other, which allowed for more design and also made it