Alien vs. Alien

they?”
    “No, finish the card.”
    He sighed and continued. “May these Royal Peregrines provide protection and beauty for your palace and your child. Many happy returns, Alexander, King, Alpha Four.”
    I still heard lots of unpleasant noises coming from the com. “Did everyone get a set of Royal Peregrines?” I yelled.
    “Hell, yes!” Christopher shouted. “And God alone knows why!” I heard Amy screaming in the background.
    Pierre wasn’t speaking. He was shrieking. “Back, you horrible creatures! Get back!”
    He wasn’t the only one. It was a cacophony of terror coming through the com. This had to stop. “Walter, make sure my voice goes into all the rooms.”
    “Yes, Chief! Ahhhh! Down, down, dammit! Go ahead, Chief!”
    Handed Jamie to Jeff, raced to the com, took a deep breath, channeled Mom. “ALL BIRDS, SIT!”
    “I love you, Kitty,” Christopher said.
    “I worship at your altar,” Chuckie said, sounding shaken. “Because I already tried telling them to sit, and it didn’t work.
    “Us too,” Abigail and Naomi chimed in.
    “The strong authoritative voice didn’t work until you used it, Kitty,” Kevin confirmed. Raymond and Rachel were crying in the background with Denise trying to soothe them.
    “Boys, you okay?”
    “You’re my personal Jesus, Konal Jesitty,” Len said. Everyone was on a Depeche Mode kick right now, apparently.
    “Mine, too,” Kyle added, voice only shaking a little. “You want to hear some Depeche Mode?”
    “Not sure music’s going to calm these savage beasts, but if it’ll help the rest of the Embassy, go for it.”
    I hadn’t realized we had an Embassy Surround Sound System, nor that it was tuned to my iPod, but the sounds of “Personal Jesus” came softly through the air. Couldn’t speak for anyone else, but music always helped me.
    “I was ready to break some bird necks,” Tito said. “Glad you got them quieted before I had to. I’m going to take care of my wounds first and then do room service, if that’s okay.”
    “Sure, Tito. Richard, you okay?”
    “Yes, Missus Martini. I knew how to calm them.”
    “Just how is that?” Jeff asked while he cuddled Jamie, who was still crying.
    “You grab their feet.”
    “Wow, Richard, that would have been a great plan for the rest of us, but ours all had claws and such.”
    “I’ll teach you how to control them in the morning, Missus Martini.”
    “Cannot wait. Walter, you okay?”
    “Somewhat.”
    “Pierre?”
    “Now that these beautiful gifts of vicious mass destruction aren’t attacking me and destroying my living area, yes, darling, I’m fine. I have no pride attached to standing and fighting, and I’ve proved I’m just a trifle faster when running away screaming than these things. Either that or they weren’t trying hard.”
    “No idea yet on that, Pierre. Magdalena, how are you?”
    “Ah, I’m fine,” she said. “I’ll go assist Doctor Hernandez.”
    “Works for me. Doreen, Irving?”
    “We’re okay, Kitty.” Doreen sounded shaken. I could hear Ezra crying. “I think Irving needs stitches, though.”
    “Good lord. They sent these as presents? For an infant? What’s wrong with the people on Alpha Four? Are they all crazy, is that it?”
    “Don’t know, baby. We left, remember?”
    “Geez, you sure it wasn’t actually intelligent choice, versus exile?”
    White laughed. “They’re not that bad once you get used to them.”
    “Cannot, literally, wait.” Our two birds were still sitting, looking around for what they could destroy, at least if I was any judge of avian behavior. “You know, around Earth, the only peregrines we have are falcons. These don’t look like falcons.”
    “They’re guardians, bred for both beauty and protection.” White still sounded unperturbed. “They’re quite a lovely gift.”
    “Oh, yes, lovely. We have at least half of east halour staff nursing wounds, but they’re great.” I went into the bathroom and got some things to take care of Jeff’s variety of cuts. The Poofs were still growling. “By the way, Richard, why do the Poofs hate the Peregrines?”
    “Job rivalry.”
    “Oh, you have got to be kidding me!”
    Jeff winced as I put some salve on the biggest cut. “I hate that stuff you humans use.”
    “Oh, my big baby.” I kissed his arm. “There, does that make it better?”
    He gave me the jungle cat smile, bent and kissed me full on the mouth. “That makes it better,” he purred as he pulled away from me.
    I