Always Watching

left the commune rather quickly. The police haven’t been able to find anything about her whereabouts.” I told him the rest. I didn’t give an opinion on what might’ve happened to her, just let him come to his own conclusions, and that he did.
    He tugged on his mustache. “So you’re thinking she might never have left at all? That something happened to her?”
    “I’m not sure, but I’m concerned.”
    “Can’t do much without any evidence of a missing girl. The RCMP won’t perform a search without more information.”
    “I understand, but I wanted to get your take on it.”
    He said, “Let’s see if we can get those names for you. Meanwhile, maybe I’ll take a walk around out there and see what I stir up.”
    “That would be great.”
    He draped both his arms on either side of his chair, and said, “Sorry about your mother. Kate was an interesting woman.”
    His words caught me off guard, and so did the shot of pain that her name, spoken out loud for the first time in years, still sent into my heart. I took a moment to gather myself. “You knew her?”
    “My buddy bought one of your horses.” I remembered now. When we came back from the commune, Mom sold both of our horses. She’d eventually gotten more, but it was like she couldn’t stand to look at anything that reminded her of the commune, including me. Only Robbie seemed able to crack her shell.
    Steve’s face was grave as he smoothed his mustache. “I was one of the first officers at the scene of her accident.”
    My head filled with imagined horrors. Police lights shining. Steve, younger, peering into the mangled metal. Mom slumped over the steering wheel, one bloody hand hanging down. I still remember the police coming to the door, my father’s big shoulders shaking as he dropped to his knees, Robbie and I running toward him, sensing something terrible had just happened, that life would never be the same. I swallowed hard, tried to say something to Steve: couldn’t.
    Steve changed the subject. “Levi’s still in Shawnigan.”
    Glad for the distraction, I grabbed at it. “I thought he’d left with the commune.”
    “He came back. Runs a water-ski school on the lake now, rents boats, Jet Skis, paddleboats, things like that. He might be willing to talk to you. He’s always been friendly.”
    Levi had always been good-natured and fun-loving, but my memories of him were entangled with Robbie, the two of them talking and laughing with girls, or working together in the field. I’d blamed Robbie’s moodiness when we’d come back home on missing his friend, but now I remembered that in the days before we’d left, just after Finn had died, they’d barely been speaking. I tried to focus in on that time, searching for an explanation, a fight or disagreement, but nothing came to mind. I wondered if Robbie knew that Levi was back in town. He must, but why hadn’t he mentioned him when I asked about former members?
    Steve added, “There’s someone else you could talk to, but she might be a tougher nut to crack.”
    “Who’s that?”
    “Mary. She was also one of the commune members, but she stayed behind after they moved down to Victoria. She has a homestead out toward the river, on the left side at the junction. Hang on. I’ll draw a map.”
    He got up and grabbed some paper from a kitchen drawer, then roughed out a diagram. While he was busy, I tried to think of which member was named Mary but couldn’t conjure a face. I was surprised we’d never run into her as kids, and that Mom and Robbie had never mentioned her.
    Steve passed me the map.
    “Thanks. Maybe I’ll head out there now.”
    For some reason I didn’t feel ready to see Levi yet, my mind instantly balking at the idea. Instead my psyche latched on to this new information: There was another woman who’d left the commune. Other than my own family, Willow, and Heather and Daniel, I didn’t know any former members.
    “Good luck—she’s a cagey one. I had to talk to her a few years back about some robberies out that way, and she kept one eye on the nearest exit. I’m sure she’s got some stories, but she might not be willing to share them.”
    His assessment didn’t surprise me. If she’d decided to stay behind, she might have a very good reason. I was definitely interested in talking to her.
    Steve and I exchanged numbers, and he walked me out to my car. I climbed in and started it up. He tapped on the top to remind me to put my seat belt on. When I rolled