Ambient 06 - Going, Going, Gone

outlining each chandelier bulb’s light. »I dosed myself. Accidentally.«
    »Dosed how?«
    »Hallucinogen,« I said.
    »Walter, what’s meant?« Eulie asked, her lowered hiss loud enough to catch Chlo’s attention as well.
    I nodded. »We can’t stay in here long. Get me out if I start –«
    » Greetings!« Crewy Lou interrupted. »Attention. Focus and concentrate.« That grin was so fixed he was starting to look like he’d been carved for Halloween. »Focus and concentrate,« the three other ringleaders said, some five seconds after he did. That wasn’t going to help, having the sound noticeably out of sync even before the echo came in. Burt, that nincompoop, was parked in the circle farthest from ours; not a chance I’d be able to make the exchange and get out in time. »Open yourself to the shake out, and see what’ll fall out.« He started to turn slowly in place, giving each one of us the snake eyes, that grin never slipping an inch. »As Doctor Oscar says.« Looking up at the chandelier I watched circular rainbows take shape around every single bulb. On the floor, the carpet’s nub started to deepen. I started to think of Bryce Canyon. »Accept the inmost deep within you.«
    That old stiff strychnine feel swept in along the back of my neck. Soon as Crewy turned to face the far side I started rubbing, trying to loosen the muscles before they had a chance to knot up. Wanting to give Eulie a sign all was okay so far, I winked, twice.
    »First,« Crewy said, »imagine this entire room is filled to the ceiling with shit.«
    What was it with these clowns? Rough toilet training was all I could figure. Realizing I’d have to hear this spiel in replay made me feel like I’d puke. Eulie’s face seemed kind of antsy, like she was watching somebody set off fireworks in a dynamite factory. I took a breath, and thought a while of what air felt like, inside my lungs.
    »Dig through the shit, through the shit, the shit –« The ringleaders sounded as if they were enhanced for stereo, badly, each one of them said almost the same thing almost simultaneously. Even as I grew to like the sound, I made a point to remember that the last thing I wanted to do during the shakeout was open my head up wide enough for something to fall in.
    »No adult’s adult while the child hides inside –« Tried humming internally, calling up favourite songs to try drowning out the Dynamos, be they »Little Maggie « or »Canned Heat Blues « or the Ted Weems Orchestra playing »Cheer Up « , but not a one could get through a chorus without some nitwittery piercing the veil. »The jewel is in the shit and the shit is in the jewel,«
    »Master potential or it masters you,«
    »Not a cough in a carload,« that kind of blather. Chlo leaned forward in her chair, her long blonde ropes dangling down, hiding her face. If I stared at her hair long enough I knew I’d see them move like snakes of their own accord. Eulie tapped my arm. I couldn’t tell what she wanted, and she finally stopped. Shadows in the room were two o’clock sharp. Bad sign when I realized I couldn’t remember if minutes earlier there’d even been shadows. Couldn’t help but notice how odd my feet felt, within shoes, and was about to take them off –» Zingo!!!«
    Didn’t like the sound of that; looked up and saw him slapping a red-headed secretary sitting across the way. The faucets let go and she acted like she was going to run off, but her seatmates held her down. Taking Eulie’s little paw in mine I tightened my grip, thinking that might let her know I was having second thoughts. She didn’t act as if she saw me, she was whispering something in Chlo’s ear. It didn’t seem to bother Chlo. Sharp white shafts started poking, longer and longer each time I blinked, out of the lights’ surrounding spectra. Forgetting that I had my eyes open, when I devoted my attention to the circle once more I saw everybody start to look at me, one by one; everybody except Crewy Lou, and he was still ranting on, perfecting that grin. I knew by now my pupils were as big as quarters; and knew that if I closed my eyes, no one would see me.
    » Zingo!«
    Reopening I saw Chlo watching Crewy really put his shoulder into a punch as he let a middle-aged man, insurance agent probably, have a hard one in the kisser. When Crewy stepped away it looked like he’d tried to put red lipstick on the fellow, but hadn’t quite mastered the fundamentals of cosmetology. Then he feinted to his