Apocalypsis 02 - Warpaint

pregnancy thing and all. But I think I’ve read somewhere that you don’t actually have to do the deed to have some fun.”
    I shoved him over. “Shut up. I’m not having this conversation with you.”
    He ignored my reticence. “I’m just talking sense here. I mean, life must go on for all of us. You can’t stay a virgin forever.”
    “Maybe I should.”
    “Why? Why deny yourself the ultimate expression of love?”
    “Sex is the ultimate expression of love? I think you’ve read too many romances.”
    “Well, I’m no expert. But I think it can be. Since we’re both virgins, I guess we’re just going to have to wait to find out. But I, for one, am not going to hold back, just because the rest of the world sucks right now. When the right guy comes along, I’m going to go for it.”
    “That’s easy for you to say. You can’t get pregnant.”
    “True. But like I said, you can mess around without getting pregnant. And besides, maybe someday you’ll want to have a baby.”
    “Pfft. Yeah, right. Like I’d want to bring a child into a world like this. Don’t be stupid.”
    “What’s so stupid about letting the world go on? Letting life go on? Things aren’t so bad for us now, are they? We have a place to live, a family, a pink poodle…”
    Buster seemed to know somehow that he was being talked about. He jumped up and danced around, his tail wagging so hard it wiggled his butt all over the place.
    I dragged him over to me. “Come here, Spazmo. Settle down before you pee yourself.” I played with his ears while I contemplated Peter’s words.
    He continued. “I think once you get a handle on the canner situation, we’ll find that living here is pretty awesome. We have a place to sleep, clothes, shoes that don’t stink like dead fish, food, and the constant entertainment of male egos gone wild. What more could we want?”
    “Pizza?”
    Peter laughed. “Okay. I’ll give you that.”
    Our heart-to-heart was interrupted by Bodo coming back, making no secret of the fact that he was injured. We both got up and went into the kitchen part of our hut.
    “Oh, dat hurts,” Bodo said as he walked towards us. “I bumped my arm on dat tree over dare. I think I need a doctor.”
    I rolled my eyes. “Just go lay down on your bed.”
    “Are you coming? Becausse I have pain, you know. Bad pain.”
    “Sounds like Mr. Perfection is in need of some nursing, Bryn. Why don’t you go help him out?” teased Peter.
    I stuck my tongue out at him. “Shush. And remember,” I whispered, “no sharing our little secrets, right?”
    “My lips are sealed,” said Peter, whispering back.
    “I can hear you in dare,” said Bodo from the doorway. “I’m coming in, so you can stop talking about me now.”
    “No one was talking about you,” I said, trying to deflate his ego just a little bit. I was pretty sure that letting Bodo’s head get any bigger would create problems for me - making him that much bolder about coming after me. And I really didn’t think I had the willpower to resist too much of an effort on his part.
    “Oh, dat makes me sad. You didn’t tell Peter about us being naked in da shower togedder?”
    I nearly choked. “Gah! What?!”
    “You guys were naked in the shower, Bryn? You kind of glossed over that part.”
    I glared at Peter. “Hello? Secrets? Remember?” I turned to Bodo. “I was not naked, Bodo, and you know it. You’re the only one who was naked.”
    “Well, that explains it,” said Peter.
    “Explains what?” I asked, exasperated.
    “How you know he’s utter perfection in the body department.”
    “Peter! Shut up!”
    Bodo laughed. “She really said dat? Oh, dat’s cool. I like dat. I am perfect. Dat has a nice sound.”
    “I did not say you were perfect, idiot.”
    “Peter said you did. He’s not a liar, dat Peter. He tells da truth.”
    “I said your body is perfect. That’s it.”
    “Oh,” he said, immediately sounding disappointed. “But not my mind. Oh, dat’s sad. Dat’s very, very sad.”
    I felt bad. He really did sound depressed now. “I didn’t say your mind isn’t attractive. I just happened to be talking about your body at the time.”
    “So you are saying dat you do find my mind attractive, den?”
    I was being backed into a corner and didn’t know what to say. Bodo’s head was already big enough. “No comment.”
    “Dat’s not a no!” said Bodo, back to being full of himself again. “I can take dat, Bryn. Dat’s not a problem. You