Baby Be Mine

be okay taking us to the airport tomorrow, with all the fuss outside the gates?’
    ‘He’s not taking you,’ he replies in a monotone voice.
    I give him a look because I assume he’s making a joke about not letting us leave.
    ‘You’re going by helicopter,’ he adds.
    ‘Helicopter?’ I ask with surprise. ‘Where’s it going to land?’
    ‘On the roof.’
    ‘You have a helicopter pad on your roof?’ How did I not know this?
    ‘No,’ he replies with a sigh. ‘But it’s flat. They’ve landed there before.’
    I nod. ‘Fair enough.’
    ‘It’ll fly you to the airfield and from there the jet will take you to the UK.’ He stares straight ahead.
    ‘I meant to ask what you want me to do with all of Barney’s toys?’
    ‘Take them with you.’
    ‘We can’t take everything.’
    ‘Leave them here, then. He can play with them when he comes to visit.’
    ‘He will have grown out of them by then.’
    He looks even more miserable and I wish I hadn’t said that.
    ‘I’ll have everything sent over,’ he says flatly.
    ‘You’d definitely better not fire Lena, then.’
    He doesn’t smile so I nudge him. ‘Cheer up,’ I say. ‘It’ll all be okay.’ He doesn’t answer. ‘I’d better go and get on with the packing.’ I leave the room before I get upset.
    I so wanted it all to work out. I wanted Barney to have a good relationship with his father – his real father. Instead he’s going to be like all the other children of celebrities out there – the ones whose parents didn’t stay together. He’ll see his dad on the telly and in the papers and he’ll know about him that way, along with everyone else. But he’ll never truly know him, in as much as you can know your own parents. Their relationship will only ever scratch the surface. Once again my heart aches for Christian and everything that he’s lost. Whenever things have got hard, I’ve missed Christian terribly. I know that I have to let him go before I can move on with my life. I never let Johnny go, and that’s why it was never one hundred per cent with Christian. Even if I hadn’t had Barney, Christian and I wouldn’t have lasted. I think I know that for certain.
    My phone rings. It’s Kitty.
    ‘Hey there,’ I say into the receiver.
    ‘How’s it all going?’ she asks sympathetically.
    ‘It’s all a bit shit, to be honest,’ I reply with a teary laugh. I fill her in about Lena.
    ‘Unbelievable,’ she says when I’ve finished. ‘She seemed so professional and above board.’
    ‘I know. Don’t tell anyone,’ I add. If Johnny doesn’t keep Lena I don’t want her CPA career to be ruined by this getting around, but I know I can trust Kitty.
    ‘You know I won’t.’ Pause. ‘I have some news also,’ she says.
    ‘Really? What?’
    ‘I’ve handed in my resignation.’
    ‘No!’ I gasp. ‘Why?’ I’m shocked. ‘You’ve worked for Rod for years.’
    ‘Exactly. I’ve known him longer than several of his wives put together.’
    I remember I joked about something similar when we went out to the premiere that night.
    ‘I hope it wasn’t anything I said.’ I feel guilty.
    ‘No, no,’ she brushes me off. ‘I’ve got to move on. I have no life, no boyfriend, and I’m not getting any younger.’
    ‘What are you going to do?’
    ‘I’m taking a year out,’ she says excitedly. ‘I’ve saved quite a lot of money,’ and she’s right because she’s been living under Rod’s roof for years with no overheads, ‘so I’m going to go travelling,’ she explains.
    I smile. ‘Good for you.’
    ‘Thanks. And you know I’m coming to stay with you in England.’
    I laugh. ‘You’ll always be very welcome. I’m going to need my friends around me.’
    When we’ve said our goodbyes I wonder if I should call Joseph. It was only a week ago, but that Halloween night seems like another lifetime. I haven’t been able to think about him for days – I’ve had too much else on my mind – but I owe it to him to say goodbye. I dial his number.
    ‘Mystic Meg,’ he says with a grin which I can’t see, but I know it’s there.
    ‘Hi,’ I reply with a sad smile.
    ‘You okay?’
    ‘As well as can be expected.’ Pause. ‘Barney and I are leaving on Sunday.’
    ‘Leaving?’
    ‘Flying back to the UK.’
    ‘Oh.’ He exhales loudly. ‘That’s sad.’
    I feel teary again. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t get to see you.’
    ‘Me, too,’ he replies.
    I feel compelled to talk about something a little less heavy.