Baby Be Mine

‘Hey, you never did tell me the outcome of your audition?’
    ‘Aah,’ he says with a half-hearted laugh. ‘I got the part.’
    ‘Did you?’ I ask, unable to contain my excitement for him. ‘For the sci-fimovie?’
    ‘Yeah.’
    ‘No way? Is it a big part?’
    ‘Kind of,’ he replies, and I sense that he’s being modest. ‘It’s the male lead.’
    ‘That’s fantastic!’ I enthuse. ‘I know it’s going to work out for you.’
    ‘You too, Mystic Meg.’
    Now that I know it was Lena who leaked the story, I feel sorry that I ever doubted him. Another place, another time, it might’ve been different. But I have no room for men in my life at the moment, and I sense that if I’d stayed, Joseph might not have had room for me in his. There was something in his eyes that night – I know he has issues of his own with an ex or exes, and it’s a tiny bit of an understatement to say that I do, too.
    I’ve never been in a helicopter before. Neither has Bess, and even though we know one is coming for us, it’s still a bit of a shock when one of those persistent blowflies buzzes in and lands on Johnny’s roof. We’ve been so used to the sight and sound of them high up in the sky over the last week.
    Most of our bags went to the airfield earlier, so now all that’s left is for us to say goodbye. Bess says hers first before climbing in and buckling herself up, then it’s just Johnny, Barney and me standing on the roof.
    ‘Well, this is it,’ I say, trying to sound breezy. I don’t want Barney to pick up on the sombre mood. He’s had enough of an upheaval recently and I feel terrible about it. I usher him towards Johnny.
    ‘Give Daddy a cuddle.’
    Johnny looks at me quickly as he lifts him up.
    ‘What?’
    ‘You just called me Daddy.’
    ‘First time for everything,’ I say flippantly. God knows how that just popped out.
    ‘Don’t make light of it,’ he commands.
    I nod, silently.
    ‘Daddy will see you soon,’ he says seriously to Barney, hugging him tightly before putting him in the helicopter along with the sheepskin sheep that he’s clutching. He found it in my cupboard when we were hiding out in my room last weekend and he took quite a liking to it.
    ‘Can you entertain my boy while I say goodbye to his mother?’ he asks the pilot.
    ‘Sure.’
    Johnny turns around to face me for the last time. ‘I told her not to throw it out,’ he says dully.
    ‘What?’
    ‘The sheep, the fucking sheepskin sheep,’ he snaps, pointing in at Barney.
    So Johnny did ask Sandy to leave it in my wardrobe.
    ‘You’re a loser,’ I tease, wanting to make light of the situation so it doesn’t hurt so much.
    He stares at me seriously. ‘I’m sorry I fucked everything up.’
    ‘Language,’ I chide.
    He smiles and looks down.
    I turn away from him and climb into the helicopter. The pilot lifts Barney into the back so I can strap him in between Bess and me.
    ‘Don’t forget me, buddy,’ Johnny says through the open door.
    ‘I hated it when Dana called him that,’ I admit.
    ‘I know,’ he replies.
    He shuts the door, but he doesn’t take his eyes from us until we’re in the air and he’s a speck in the distance.

 
  Chapter 45  
    ‘Get this down ya.’ Susan hands me a cup of tea.
    ‘Another one?’ I ask.
    ‘Can never have too much tea,’ she replies. ‘Especially in times of crisis.’
    I sigh. ‘I’m used to it now. It’s hardly a time of crisis.’
    ‘Near enough. The same goes for chocolate biscuits.’
    She hands me a tin of posh ones that she brought with her.
    ‘You’re right,’ I say, opening up the tin and peering inside. ‘Times of crisis indeed.’
    I choose one and hand back the tin. We smile at each other.
    I never thought I’d say this, but Susan – formerly known as My Annoying Older Sister Susan – has been a gem since Barney and I returned to the UK. At first I turned down her offer of help, but she insisted on taking time off work to come to Henley and help me unpack and settle in. I thought she’d drive me around the bend, but she’s seriously surprised me. She’s been here every weekend since, offering tea and sympathy. And chocolate biscuits. I don’t know what I would have done without her.
    I’m especially glad she’s here today. There’s been a new story about Johnny in the tabloids. He and Dana were snapped hanging off each other and looking utterly wasted in the early hours of yesterday morning as they exited a club.
    I’ve spoken to