Baby Be Mine

me. My heart flips again and for once I don’t chastise myself for the feeling. Right now, I just want to be. I’ll be back to reality soon enough – I can’t be in danger of losing myself in the space of an hour, surely?
    ‘Aah, Meg . . .’ His voice trails off and hearing him say my real name instead of Nutmeg makes the butterflies swarm around even more.
    ‘I suppose we’d better get the chocolate out before you fade away.’
    ‘And before it melts,’ I add.
    He reaches for the plastic bag and delves inside. ‘What have you got for me?’ he asks.
    ‘Crisps. You’re a savoury boy, through and through. That’s why it could never have worked between us,’ I tease.
    ‘Oh, that’s why, is it?’ he asks, drily. ‘See, I disagree.’
    ‘Oh?’
    ‘Think about it,’ he says, lying back down on his side, food forgotten for a moment. ‘If we went to the movies, I’d have salt popcorn and you’d have sweet. You’d be able to have it all to yourself, none of this annoying nicking business.’
    ‘You’ve got a point,’ I reply with a grin. ‘But I like my popcorn mixed.’
    ‘Sweet and salted?’ He screws up his nose. ‘Your taste buds are sick and twisted, girl.’
    ‘I can’t disagree with you there,’ I reply jokily. ‘I have very bad taste. Terrible taste in men, too, as it turns out.’
    ‘Ouch.’ He nudges my arm and my heart flips.
    Yep, again.
    We’re still smiling at each other. Up this close I can see the freckles on his nose – the ones they airbrush out in magazine shoots. I could never understand why anyone would want to do that. They make him more . . . human, somehow.
    ‘Pass. Me. The chocolate,’ I say in a monotone voice. He grins and sits back up. He’s wearing a light-grey T-shirt with pink graphics on the front. The muscles on his arms flex as he moves, and at that very moment, I want nothing more than for him to hold me tight in his arms.
    We will be leaving in two days . . .
    I’ve found a place near Henley in Oxfordshire. We’re renting to begin with. There wasn’t enough time to push a sale through, and anyway, I didn’t want to rush into buying anything. It’s bigger than I wanted it to be, but both Johnny and Lena insisted it had to be of a certain size to accommodate the security staff. Plus, it needs its own garden with private access and you don’t get too many tiny cottages that meet those kinds of requirements.
    ‘Have you heard from Joseph?’ Johnny asks, out of the blue.
    ‘Yes, I have. It wasn’t him, Johnny. He didn’t leak it to the press.’
    ‘If you say so.’ Pause. ‘Are you seeing him again?’
    ‘I don’t think I’ll have time to before we leave.’
    He looks down and then starts to pick at the grass between us. I can hear the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks below.
    ‘How’s Dana?’ I ask.
    ‘Fine.’
    ‘What’s she been up to this week?’
    ‘Recording.’
    I’d almost forgotten she was allegedly the Next Big Thing in music. It makes me dislike her even more.
    ‘You must be missing her . . .’
    Please say no, please say no . . .
    He shrugs. Very non-committal.
    ‘When are you going to see her again?’ I press.
    ‘When you leave, I guess,’ he replies and it stings.
    ‘Is she the one?’ I find myself asking and holding my breath at the same time.
    He glances at me. ‘I don’t know. But there’s something about her that I’d find hard to give up.’
    I didn’t think it would hurt this much to hear him say that.
    I sit up and put the rest of my chocolate bar back in the plastic bag. I don’t feel like eating anymore. ‘Do you think we should head back?’ I ask.
    ‘Guess so.’ He gets to his feet and holds his hand down. I feel resentful about taking it – now I don’t want him to touch me – but it seems wrong to shun his help. He pulls me to my feet and for a split second I want to forget everything he’s just said.
    I want him to kiss me, and he knows it.
    He cups my face with his hand and I feel dizzy.
    I want to forget everything he’s just said . . . But I can’t.
    I step away from him and reach down to pick up my jacket. ‘Come on,’ I say. ‘Let’s go.’
    I sit behind him on the way home with my arms wrapped around his waist and I feel like this is the last time I’ll ever be close to him. He can’t see the tears in my eyes, or feel the deep aching sadness in my heart, but both are a clear indication to me that I need to get away from here. Fast.

 
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