Baby Be Mine

okay. How could you?’ He pauses. ‘Rosa always asks Christian about you.’
    ‘Does she?’
    ‘At least, she used to,’ he adds. ‘She quit.’ He shrugs and tries to appear indifferent, but I can tell that he’s hurting.
    ‘She found you after the overdose, didn’t she?’ He glances up at me and nods slightly. ‘It doesn’t surprise me that she quit,’ I continue.
    He looks down again. ‘I guess enough was enough for her.’
    ‘That’s very sad,’ I say and mean it. ‘She was part of the family.’
    ‘I know.’ He takes a deep breath and exhales loudly.
    ‘What about everyone else? I often think of them.’
    ‘Lewis, Samuel, Ted and Sandy are all still there.’ Sandy was the maid. The first three make up the security team.
    ‘What about Santiago?’
    ‘I knew you meant him,’ he says with a slight smile.
    ‘He was a friend!’ My voice rises. I don’t know why I sound defensive. He may have come to Johnny’s house only once a week to tend to the gardens and treat the pool, but I sometimes found myself chatting to him for hours.
    ‘Yeah,’ he replies. ‘He’s still there. Still smoking behind the garage . . .’
    Once, when I was really stressed, Santiago gave me one of his cigarettes. Johnny saw and went bananas. He hated to think about anyone else corrupting me in any small way – I think he was actually jealous. That night he came into my room and into my bed . . . I shiver inadvertently.
    ‘You never became a smoker, then,’ Johnny continues.
    ‘Of course not,’ I retort. ‘I’m a mum. Anyway, it’s a filthy habit,’ I add with raised eyebrows.
    He smirks. ‘Can’t argue with that.’
    ‘You should quit,’ I say.
    ‘There are a lot of things I should give up, Nutmeg, but I rarely do.’ He stretches his arms over his head and smiles at me and it takes me a moment to realise he’s just called me Nutmeg, the term of affection he used for me.
    I come to my senses with a start. ‘I’d better get back to bed before Christian misses me.’
    ‘Of course.’
    ‘Don’t get up,’ I tell him, but he’s already on his feet. He meets me by the door and leans against the doorframe. I suddenly feel jittery.
    ‘I’m glad you’re happy,’ he murmurs, looking into my eyes. ‘You deserve it.’ He touches my arm, briefly, tenderly. Lost for words, I turn away and hurry up the stairs.

 
  Chapter 8  
    I finally fall asleep around dawn, when daylight has already started seeping under the blinds. Christian wakes me unintentionally at around seven o’clock in the morning.
    ‘Sorry,’ he says. He’s pulling on his jeans. ‘Go back to sleep.’
    ‘No, it’s okay. I’m awake.’
    He comes over to the bed to take my hand. ‘I wish I could come home with you today.’
    I look up at him in sympathy. ‘How long do you think you should stay?’
    ‘I guess I’ll play it by ear. Dad’s a bit of a mess.’
    He’s not telling me anything I don’t already know.
    ‘I’m going to head downstairs. Please stay in bed,’ he urges. ‘We don’t have to leave for the airport for two hours.’
    ‘No, I’m coming down.’
    He shakes his head in amused frustration and leaves the room. I climb out of bed and pull on some jeans and a purple top. I make a concerted effort not to bother with make-up. The guilt is well and truly back.
    What the hell was I thinking, going into a room alone with him? What would Christian think? Actually, Christian would probably approve. He wants us all to be friends. He’s fallen out before with Johnny and they always patch things up. Thankfully, he and Christian weren’t speaking at the time I fell pregnant, so Johnny couldn’t put two and two together with his dates. It took them about a year to get back on good terms, and by then Barney had already been born. But Johnny turning up yesterday for such a momentous occasion will certainly cement their friendship. Unfortunately.
    I trot downstairs and into the kitchen, noticing on my way that the living room door is closed.
    ‘He still asleep?’ I ask Christian.
    ‘Yep.’ He’s making a coffee. ‘Want one?’
    ‘Sure,’ I reply. I look around the kitchen. Joel did a good job of finishing up. We hear someone coming down the stairs and both turn to see Eugen enter the room. He looks weary.
    ‘Alright, Dad?’ Christian says.
    ‘Alright, son.’
    ‘How did you sleep?’ I ask.
    ‘Not too bad. Took a pill,’ he admits.
    ‘Want a coffee?’ Christian asks him.
    ‘That’d be good.’