Baby Be Mine

family for years. The nice ones are all in the dishwasher.
    ‘I heard the news about you ending up in hospital, son.’ My eyes shoot towards Johnny as Eugen speaks these words. ‘Not good, my boy, not good,’ Christian’s dad continues.
    Johnny shifts in his seat. I try to tear my eyes away, back to my chipped yellow mug, but I can’t. They’re fixed on him.
    ‘It was a stupid mistake,’ he says.
    ‘Mistake?’ Eugen scoffs. ‘Come on, now.’
    I get the feeling that Eugen doesn’t cut Johnny any slack, no matter how rich or successful he’s become since he and Christian were little.
    ‘Ah, man . . .’ Johnny leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees. ‘Not a mistake, but, well, stupid.’ His accent has an American twang to it, but he’s still unmistakably a British lad from up north.
    ‘You got that right,’ Eugen snaps.
    Johnny says nothing, and it seems that he respects Christian’s old man. I’ve never seen them together before.
    ‘Yeah, aren’t you supposed to be still in rehab in LA?’ Joel chips in.
    ‘I got a day pass,’ Johnny drawls in his direction.
    ‘I hope you’re going back,’ Eugen interrupts.
    Johnny shrugs. ‘Maybe.’
    ‘No “maybe” about it,’ barks Eugen.
    Christian nudges me and I glance at him to see a small smirk on his face. This exchange doesn’t go unnoticed by Johnny, who raises his eyebrows at Christian. He doesn’t look at me.
    ‘How’s it going with Contour Lines?’ Johnny asks Christian.
    ‘You trying to change the subject?’ Christian teases.
    ‘Damn right I am,’ Johnny replies, pursing his lips at Eugen.
    Christian chuckles and launches into an easy conversation. I’m vaguely pleased for him and his family that they have this distraction, even though I’m finding it hard to manage the simple task of sipping my tea. Johnny is steadfastly avoiding eye contact with me.
    After a while, Eugen sighs. ‘I think I’m going to turn in.’ He heaves himself out of his chair. Johnny crosses the room to shake his hand.
    ‘I really am sorry,’ he says, awkwardly folding his arms in front of himself.
    ‘I know you are,’ Eugen replies, looking down.
    ‘I wish I could have made the funeral,’ Johnny adds, looking more sincere than I think I’ve ever seen him.
    ‘Don’t worry,’ Eugen replies. ‘I understand. No more getting into trouble!’
    ‘Yeah, okay.’
    ‘If Mandy were here she’d give you a battering.’ We all smile sadly at the thought, then Eugen sniffs. ‘I’m sorry,’ he says, his eyes filling with tears. He brushes them away, but they make their descent down his cheeks. ‘I’ll see you all in the morning,’ he says.
    On a sudden impulse, I stand up. ‘Let me see you upstairs.’ I take his hand.
    ‘No, no,’ he brushes me off.
    ‘Please,’ I insist. I want to tidy up a bit and make his bed for him, even though he’s about to get into it. More than anything, I don’t want him to walk into his marital bedroom alone on the night of his wife’s funeral.
    ‘You’re a good girl,’ he says, squeezing my hand and letting it go. I glance at Johnny and at that exact same moment, he locks eyes with me, sending shockwaves down my spine. We quickly look away from each other as Christian gets to his feet.
    ‘Thanks, love,’ he murmurs, rubbing my arm affectionately.
    I turn away and hurry up the stairs, leaving Eugen to say goodnight to his sons.
    Johnny used to call me a good girl. Maybe I was, once. Not anymore. Eugen is sadly mistaken.
    When I return to the living room, fifteen minutes later, Christian and Johnny are alone. I hear a clinking sound coming from the kitchen and realise that Joel is washing up the last of the glasses.
    ‘Sit down,’ Christian commands, before I can leave the room. ‘You’ve done enough today.’
    I take a deep breath and do as he says. Upstairs, my whole body felt awash with exhaustion. I probably should have gone to bed myself, but the pull to return to the living room was too strong.
    ‘I’ve been telling Johnny about our pad in Cucugnan,’ Christian says. ‘I said he should come to see us sometime.’
    ‘Oh, right,’ I manage to choke out. Johnny is watching my reaction. Hopefully he knows me well enough to understand he’s not welcome.
    ‘Are you working, Meg?’ Johnny asks, and I sense that he’s trying to act normal for Christian’s sake.
    ‘No. Being a mum keeps me busy enough,’ I reply, trying to inject some nonchalance into my tone. I should feel pleased