Baby Be Mine

another man’s wife?’
    ‘This is why I don’t want him here!’ I finally erupt. ‘You two! All you’d do is nit-pick at him the whole time. It’s embarrassing!’
    There go my gold stars for good behaviour.
    ‘Oh, dear,’ Mum says, entirely unimpressed. My dad humphs.
    I close my eyes for a few seconds and open them again. ‘I’m sorry. You’ll see enough of him when he’s here. I’m sure we’ll hang out at the house rather than risk being seen around town.’
    That seems to pacify them somewhat. God knows why – it’s not like they’re big Johnny Jefferson fans.
    I turn to my dad, all of a sudden overcome with the need to explain something. ‘What you said . . . about Johnny stealing his best friend’s girl . . . Johnny and I were together first.’ It feels important that my parents know this. ‘So you could say that Christian stole me from him,’ I add stupidly.
    ‘Is that true?’ Mum’s eyes widen.
    ‘Well, not strictly speaking,’ I backtrack. Got a bit carried away. ‘We weren’t actually together when Christian and I . . . Oh, maybe I don’t want to talk about this, after all.’
    ‘Why not? I think we should know the whole shebang,’ Mum says indignantly.
    Oh, for goodness’ sake, I moan inside my head. ‘I fell for Johnny, he apparently fell for me, but was scared of commitment . . .’ That’s the diplomatic way of saying that he came onto women right in front of me and shagged someone I really, really didn’t want him to shag. Even now I wince at the memory. I continue, ‘I quit my job as his PA, stayed friends with Christian, got together with Christian, then Johnny came back for me.’
    My parents lean forward in anticipation.
    ‘Johnny came back for you? What happened next?’ Mum pries, addicted to this unexpected gossip fix.
    I sigh. ‘Johnny and I . . . you know . . .’ I give them a look and they shift in their seats. I cannot believe I’m telling them this. ‘He wanted me to go back to LA to live with him—’
    ‘Really ?’ Mum interrupts.
    ‘Well, why wouldn’t he?’ Dad says, puffed up full of misguided pride for his daughter.
    ‘And I said no.’
    ‘Oh.’
    That was both of them speaking.
    ‘A month later I found out I was pregnant and the rest is history . . .’
    Silence as they contemplate this information.
    ‘You can’t tell any of this to Barbara,’ I warn my mum.
    ‘As if I would!’ she snorts, but I know her.
    ‘And you won’t be able to have any of your friends over while he’s here,’ I tell them strongly. ‘In fact, you can’t tell anyone that he’s here at all.’
    ‘Goodness me, what a palaver,’ Mum sniffs. ‘I’ll have to make up some excuse about us all coming down with something.’
    ‘You don’t need to stop seeing your friends,’ I say. ‘But if you could please go to their houses instead of inviting them here for a few days, that would be grand.’
    ‘Oh, yes, we’d be happy to do that,’ Dad says. ‘Anything to make the famous rock star feel at home.’
    Oh, God, this is going to be a nightmare.
    I go to pick up Johnny from Nice airport in the GTI. He flew first class instead of bringing the jet this time – and after a quick conversation on the phone the other night, we agreed that he won’t need alternative transport while he’s here. We want to keep this whole thing as low-key as possible.
    I park the car and go inside to Arrivals, wondering blithely what disguise Johnny will be wearing to make sure he’s not recognised. I check his flight’s arrival time and see that it has just landed, and then I go to stand behind the barriers.
    It starts as a buzz before turning to screams. Flashes are popping off all over the place and people begin to push and shove to get closer to the barriers. I’m being crushed among the throng and I know that all of this can only mean that, one, Johnny is in the vicinity and, two, the disguise didn’t work.
    The last time I experienced anything like this was when I was travelling with him on tour; but then I was with him and under the protection of his security guards, not being squashed to smithereens by a bunch of perfect strangers.
    I push back against the crowd as hard as I can and somehow manage to get away from the people and into fresh air. The screams grow louder and if I follow the light of the flash bulbs I can just make out the top of Johnny’s head as he walks through the Arrivals hall. What on earth am I supposed to do now?
    He must be surrounded by