Baby Be Mine

watches. Even my parents are distracted.
    ‘Why don’t you go out for the day?’ I suggest at about eleven o’clock to annoy them.
    ‘No, we’re happy here, thank you,’ Susan replies tersely, but forty-five minutes later, she erupts. ‘Where the hell is he?’
    I shrug. ‘This is what he’s like.’ Although, inside, I’m getting a little bit irate myself. What the hell has he been doing all morning? I tried calling him earlier, to no avail. I hope he’s not nursing a hangover. I’ll be really pissed off.
    Sure enough, when he does finally turn up, it’s in dark sunglasses and looking the worse for wear. I answer the door to him.
    ‘You’ve been drinking.’ It’s not a question.
    ‘And?’
    ‘This isn’t a bloody holiday, Johnny. You’re here to get to know Barney.’
    ‘I am getting to know him,’ he replies unapologetically.
    ‘I don’t want you drinking around my son!’ I’m starting to get worked up.
    ‘I’m not drinking around my son,’ he replies.
    ‘What are you doing, boozing on your own, anyway? That should be the clearest sign to you that you’ve got a problem.’
    ‘Who said I was drinking on my own?’ he asks.
    My mouth shuts abruptly.
    ‘Where’s Barney?’ He eases me to one side and steps over the threshold.
    ‘Outside.’
    He starts to saunter in that direction and I find I’m lost for words.
    As soon as they heard the knock at the door, Susan and Tony leaped into their ‘casual’ positions. Susan is now lying on a sunlounger, with one leg propped up to try to make her frame look smaller. It’s not really working.
    ‘Good morning!’ Tony says with forced cheerfulness. ‘Or should I say, good afternoon?’ He strokes his weak chin in an attempt to be comical and then flicks his limp brown hair back before giggling hysterically.
    ‘Did you have a nice lie-in?’ Susan asks huskily.
    Johnny gives them a slight nod of acknowledgement, but doesn’t pay them any additional attention as he walks past. He joins Barney on the grass under the shade of an umbrella and silently proceeds to push one of his plastic toy cars around. Barney makes a grab for it and Johnny smiles a small smile. It’s blatantly obvious to me that he’s nursing quite a hangover. I go indoors to the medicine cabinet and return to the shade of the umbrella, this time accompanied by a glass of water and painkillers. I hand them to Johnny without comment. He takes them without looking at me.
    ‘Have you been to a perfume factory yet?’ Susan asks Johnny brightly.
    ‘Nope.’ He shakes his head.
    ‘Oh, you must go,’ she says. ‘Maybe we could all go today?’
    ‘Perfume’s not really my thing,’ Johnny drawls, clearly not keen to engage in conversation. Susan is having none of it.
    ‘Not your thing? It’s not about that; it’s just really interesting to see how they make it. Isn’t it, Tony?’ She nudges him hard.
    ‘Oh, yes,’ he complies. ‘Very interesting. We should go. Shouldn’t we?’ He looks at Susan.
    ‘Yes. We should all go.’ Susan gazes meaningfully at Johnny, but he ignores her. ‘Or we could all just stay here and enjoy the sunshine,’ she adds, false breezily.
    Johnny murmurs under his breath, ‘Get me away from here.’
    ‘You want to go out?’ I ask him quietly.
    ‘Need.’
    Twenty-five minutes later we’re in the car. I’m driving. Johnny is silent in the seat next to me.
    ‘Where do you want to go?’
    ‘I don’t care.’
    It was a nightmare getting away. When I announced that we were going for a drive, Susan decided it was an excellent idea and that she and Tony should join us, even though she’d already promised to go with Mum and Dad to a perfume factory. She then suggested driving behind us in their car, and when I knocked that idea on the head, she accused me of being selfish. I walked out at that point. Ooh, it’s going to be fun around the dinner table this evening.
    We drive around for half an hour before Barney becomes grizzly.
    ‘Can you entertain him?’ I ask Johnny.
    ‘My head,’ he mumbles.
    ‘Look, what do you want to do?’ I snap. ‘I can’t just drive around all day – Barney will go bananas.’
    ‘Won’t he sleep?’
    ‘No, he’s already had his nap this morning.’
    Silence.
    ‘Shall I take you back to your hotel?’ I ask crossly, expecting him to say no and consequently perk up.
    ‘Yeah, that might be an idea,’ he replies instead.
    Angrily, I do a U-turn and begin to make my way there.
    ‘Will you swing