Beauty Queen

were what she really wanted to say.
    But, with whatever experience she had gained in her ten years in the New York State political arena, she knew that she couldn't express herself in this way. She had to water it down.
    The TV crews were setting up in her district office. NBC, ABC and CBS had all naturally wanted to know what were her feelings about the Blackburn murder. So she had agreed to hold a press conference and make a statement.
    Tom Winkler was very unhappy about the whole business. He had just retained Hart & Straus, a Boston firm who had successfully handled the media affairs of several winning candidates. He had mumbled something about how Hart & Straus would have their work cut out for them.
    She had dressed carefully for this appearance. TV had always been her strong point, and she knew it. She was wearing a simple black dress with a little white Peter Pan collar and short sleeves with white cuffs, that one of her staff had jokingly called Camp Revival. Her hair was simply done. A bare minimum of makeup. Missing would be her famous beauty-queen smile. She wouldn't dare to flash it at such a somber moment—but she could make people remember it.
    Tom Winkler was going around mumbling that he felt things had gotten way out of focus. He had written her statement for her, saying he hoped this would get things back on track again. He had mumbled that he was sick of hearing about homosexuals. Funny . . . her father had said that.
    "Mrs. Colter, are you ready?" asked a man from one of the film crews.
    "Any time you are," she said brightly.
    The fact was, even Steve was unhappy about the Blackburn business. Steve was a very sensitive boy—rather over-sensitive about violence, in fact. He refused to watch television because it upset him. And so, the other day, Steve had said something about Blackburn that had really shaken her up.
    The bright lights were shining on her. Under her crisp little dress, the heat of the lights was bringing out a fine sweat on her limbs.
    She trained her eyes on the camera lens so the viewer would feel she was looking directly into his or her eyes and making personal contact with those dark eyes of hers that she had tried to use to such good effect in "good girl" roles in films.
    The cameras were rolling. One of the crew men signaled to her to start speaking.
    "I deplore the fact that Blackburn was beaten to death. I would deplore it whether it was done in my name or for no reason at all. In general, I deplore violence. It is one of the things I have always stood for in politics. I deplore crime in the street, and the easy violence that seems to plague our society, and it's one of the things I will work for if I am elected governor. I hope that the men who killed Blackburn are caught, and punished to the fullest extent of the law."
    She spoke slowly, intensely, yet naturally, letting the full timbre of her voice find its way through, without theatrical speechifying.
    The fact was that Steve had upset her greatly with his comment. She had called Windfall to find out how everything was, and to say she would definitely be coming up there for the weekend. Steve had gotten on the phone and asked her what she thought of the Blackburn thing.
    She had said, "Well, it's like a drunk who walks in front of a car and gets killed. If he hadn't been drunk, he wouldn't have gotten in front of the car in the first place."
    She had said it lightly. Perhaps she had counted too much on Steve's faith, and too little on his youth and sensitivity.
    He had said, "But Mom, that sounds like you're excusing what those men did."
    "Darling, that's not so."
    "Mom, those guys beat a guy to death, and they did it because of things you said, and I bet they'll do it again."
    Later that day, after the press conference, Jeannie and Tom Winkler and a couple of her other aides were driving up Route 684 toward Pawling. Jeannie was driving with her usual panache, and Winkler had one hand braced defensively against the dashboard, as he always did when he drove anywhere with her. The others were in the back, silent. All her staff were feeling a little off-balance right now.
    "By the way, what's the latest on the Blackburn thing?" she said.
    "The parents claimed the body," said Winkler.
    "Oh, they did? What made them change their minds?"
    "The fact that the gays were trying to claim the body."
    "Tom, don't call them gays," she said, a little irritated. "That's their word. Don't tell me you're sympathetic to them."
    "I'm